Sunday, October 9, 2011

Crossroad

Yesterday I received an e-mail from my headhunter. Few months ago, I was interviewed for a position in Aboitiz. I wasn't really expecting for a call back after that. During that interview I was asked what if they're offer is less than my asking price which should not be lower than PhP150,000, would I accept the job? I simply replied, anything less than than is unacceptable. So to get this notification that my application is on its final assessment is quite remarkable. Though, I'm still not expecting anything. Even if they give in to my demand, I'm still not 100% sold to the idea of accepting it for a lot of reasons. But the good thing about this, aside for my ego of course is first, I was able to assess my market value. It's important for every induvidual to know how much his worth so in times like these, one would avoid selling one's self short(I'm starting to sound like a prostitute here. =). Everyone of us is a saleman. In our day to day lives we continue to sell ourselves to everyone, to each and every individual we meet each day. When you court a girl, or make friends, you always put your best foot forward, much more when you offer your services to a company. And lastly, i was able to assess my capabilities and understand my strenghts and weaknessess. That's the great thing about going to job interviews (even if you're happy and satisfied with your current job). My style is, I would apply for a position higher than my current job. I'd go though the rigorous process of screening so I'd be able to assess what I have and don't have based on what they are looking for. After that, I go back to the drawing board and develop my developmental plan. I attend trainings and volunteer on job tasks. It allows me to learn and build on my competence and address identified weaknessess.

Now what are my main reasons for not accepting the job?


1. I'm not sure I'm ready to relocate. The facility is located in Bicol. Man, that's too far from where I live right now. But during the interview, they told me I could work for 3 weeks straight and have a 1 week off which of course I could spend back home in Manila.


2. I'm still quite happy and satisfied with my current job. Work pressure is not too much and I'm eyeing a promotion next year.


3. I was just given a share in a corporation by my bestfriend's family which they recently organized. They say, it's for "utang na loob" for the good things I've done for their family. How I helped and supported them during those time when they couldn't even pay their monthly rent. Just few months ago, out of nowhere, they received a call informing them that they inherited a 24 hectare land in Pampanga. It was said to belong to their grandmother. However, their grandmonther never told anyone about it when she died, luckily the court was able to find them as it wanted already to distribute such property to its legal heir. That case has been pending in court for half a century now. When we visitied the area, lo and behold, the said land is covered with aggregates (sand and gravel) due to the Pinatubo eruption when lahar covered parts of Pampanga. If some of you may not be aware, the Province of Pampanga makes hundreds of millions each year quarrying these areas. The property they inherited is untouched and never been quarried. I was appointed as Board of Director and Operations Manager and would get monthly allowances plus profit from my share of the corporation. Hopefully, in three weeks time, our quarry permit will be released so we can start operation immediately. I'll discuss this more in detail next time.


Anyway, it's Sunday here in Kusatsu. I had a great time yesterday visiting Kyoto and would probably go back later this afternoon. Need to take a bath now as I need to meet up some friends in awhile for Lunch.


PS. I wonder why I can't post comment? Anyway. lonewolf, I'll try that chocolate beer. You seems to know alot of Japan, have you been here before? Ill see if I'd be able to find time to visit Kanzawa. Thanks for the tip!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Japan, Japan



It's past 11pm now here in Kusatsu. I took a flight yesterday in Manila via Cathay Pacific at 6am and arrived in HongKong at around 8am. At 10am, I took a connecting flight and arrived in Osaka/Kansai at 2:30pm. I needed to take a train to come here in Kusatsu but when i got to the train station, the next scheduled trip was 4:15pm. The train ride took about an hour and a half so when i got here in the hotel it's past 6pm. So all in all, it was a 12 hour trip. I was supposed to take a direct flight via PAL but changed my booking due to the on-going problems they are facing right now. It was a long and tiring trip just getting here. However, my amazement on this beautiful country totally made up for it.


On my first day here in Japan, I visited our facility located in Moriyama. I'm quite tired now to describe everything I saw so I'll just post some pictures which I took using my phone. But over-all I was impressed how fully automated the facility is. It made me feel that our facility in the Philippines is neglected and is way behind in terms of technology considering we are of the same company. Anyway, I learned so much today and I plan to bring some of those learnings and try to implement it in our own facility.








Tomorrow is free day. I plan to spend the entire day in Kyoto, which happens to be one of my dream destination. I brought my camera with me together with my tripod and several lenses so I am hoping to capture some really good pictures.



Oh by the way, I think Japanese guys are the cutest in the world, seriously. Come here and you'll know why. Coincidentally, my first gay experience was with a half Japanese-half Pinoy way back in high school. I'm thinking of sending him a message via FB when I get back in Manila. Just Kidding! (or maybe not!) =)


.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Love Confession: Alvin

I was in a club at that time when suddenly, my friend Mark elbowed me I almost spilled the glass of vodka in my hand. He then pointed me to a direction across the dance floor, and there, stood this guy together with his friends. Mark told me he has been eyeing him for months now. I have to admit, the guy is very attractive. I am not so much into oriental looks, but this chinese mestizo guy seems to be an exception. He has this boyish looks that would surely catch everyone’s attention and a nice lean, muscular body to boot. It made wonder, if Mark has been eyeing this guy for months now, how could I have missed him? And while these thoughts played in my mind he caught me staring at him. I immediately looked away and pretended embarrassed. In a split second, I looked back at him and he was still looking at me. I flashed a hesitant smile and he reciprocated it with an encouraging one.

When I went to the bar to buy another drink suddenly someone crept from behind and stood beside me. “Hey”, he said. “I’m Alvin”. At that moment, I swear, my heart skipped a bit. A casual conversation ensued after the brief introduction. He was such a charmer. He’s a bit younger than I am but I was able to sense a level of maturity you rarely find from someone his age. As much as I wanted to spend the entire night with him, I excused myself conscious that my friends would already be looking for me. As I took a step away from him, he gently tapped my shoulder and asked, “Can I have your number?” to which I willingly obliged. Few hours later, Mark suggested that we all crash and continue our party at his place, to which everyone agreed. While I was driving on my way to his place, suddenly I received a text message. “Hey what’s up? Where are you?” It was Alvin. So I told him I left the bar already and on my way to my Mark’s place. “Hmm, would you want to go to my place instead?” He asked. At that moment, I wasn’t really quite sure what to do. “Is this going to be just another one night stand?” I asked myself. I was a bit disappointed yet I couldn’t let that opportunity pass. I called up Mark and told him “Hey my dad just called. He wants me to go home now. Something important came up”. I hanged up the phone and texted Alvin asking him directions how to get to his place.


When I walked to his building I really wasn’t sure what I was doing. But I continued my way to his unit and I when reached it, I gently knocked on his door. His smile was as wide as the door as he opened it. I slowly walked inside his room and as soon as he closed it, he grabbed and kissed me. Few minutes later, our clothes were on the floor as we lay on his bed exploring each other. I woke up nine hours later. It’s almost 2pm. I silently stood up from his bed and picked up my clothes on the floor. While I was dressing up, he woke up. He extended his arm, smiling. I wasn’t able to resist the invitation. We made love again, one for the road. That same night when I was about to sleep at around 8pm my phone rang. “I’m missing you already.” And I replied, “Oh Yeah?” And he asked, “Why won’t you come back here and spend the night with me?” An hour later, I found myself knocking again on his door. We spent the night talking and learning more about each other. We slept on each other’s embrace.


After that crazy meeting, a month later after frequent dates, he asked me for a commitment. But I was in love with Justin. All along it was still Justin. But I also feel something for him. So I was left with no choice but to tell him the truth. I told him the story of Justin. How we and where we were at that time. He patiently listened. But as I continued on with the story, I could feel his pain as he tried to understand every word I said. And when I was done, he said, “I will not ask you to choose between me and Justin. You can still have your Justin, as long as I still have you.” Those words shocked me. I felt a bit of guilt and it was a deal too good to be true. Or so I thought. That night, everything between me and Alvin became official.

The first few months of our relationship was fine. Though I continued to see Justin, it never was an issue between us not until one day when Justin and I went to spend a weekend in Baguio. I don’t understand what came up to him; he tried calling me every now and then while I was in Baguio. I dropped all his calls and did not answer his text messages. So when I got back to Manila, he was so mad he walked out on me while having dinner while we were talking what happened during that weekend. It was too late when I realized how inconsiderate I was to treat him the way I treated him taking him out of my life while I was in Baguio.

The following weekend, while we were both high on drugs (I’ll write more about this next time), he asked our friend Keith to come home and spend the night with us. While driving home I was aware of the possibilities that may happen, dragging along Keith with us. It was not spoken, but inside all of us, we know what is to come. So when we reached Alvin’s place, we lay on the floor as we savor the euphoria of ecstasy. We started kissing and rubbing each other’s body. But every now and then, bits and pieces of sensibilities would creep into my mind. Maybe the drug is starting to lose its effect. Until I saw Alvin savoring the manhood of Keith in his mouth, that’s when I lost it. Alvin saw my reaction; he went straight to me and started sucking me. But my mind kept telling me, “You can’t do this” until my mouth opened and said it to them, “I can’t do this!” I saw the reaction on their face. It was a mix of shock and disappointment. They tried to caress me, maybe hoping to turn me on, but I stood up and went straight to bed. Alvin followed me to talk me into it, but I said no. Then Keith decided to leave us and went home. The moment I heard the door closed, I stood up and took off all my clothes. I saw the surprised look on his face. I undressed and lay him on his back and fucked him like I never fucked him before. It has hard and deep while uttering the words, “This is what you want right?” “Yes, fuck me hard”, he said. It’s one fucking experience I will never forget in my life for it was to be the last between me and Alvin. After we were done, I stood up and took my clothes. I was silent. Until I heard him said “You felt jealous when you saw me sucking Keith right?” I remained quiet. “Now you know how I feel every time I know you’re with Justin”, he continued. I felt my head was about to explode when I heard those words. I wanted to curse him for throwing such shit on my face for I was not the one who asked for the relationship. But all I could say in response was, “I’m sorry”. I looked him in the eye and we know without even saying any words, it was the end of the line for us. I walked out of the door, with a lot of questions on my mind but never bothered to find the answers till this very minute.

I saw him again a month after our break up. He was with this guy he’s dating. To this day, we remain good friends. And as for me, I was back in my old self again, in a very complicated relationship with Justin but not until I met Jerico.


POST MORTEM ANALYSIS

It was after a while when I realized that my relationship with Alvin is doomed from the moment it even started. As they say, you can never serve two masters at the same time. Alvin was stupid to allow himself to be in such a relationship knowing the other person is also in love with someone else. And I was damn too selfish at wanting to have everything in my hands. In the end, none of us gained anything but only scars and lessons to be learned.


to be continued.... Love Confession: Jerico


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Product Shoot

Here's the final output of the product shoot I did last month. Nothing fancy but good enough for my client's taste. Anyway, I'll be attending a workshop next week on studio lighting. Let's see. Hopefully it rekindles my passion for photography. There will be an actual shoot where students will critique each others works. I'll post here whatever I'll come out with. I'm kinda looking forward to it.


Saturday, September 3, 2011

August 2011

It’s been more than a month now since the last time I wrote here. So what happened since then?

#1

I celebrated my 35th birthday last August 5. Yes, you read it right; I just turned 35 years old. LOL! While most people are very discreet with their age, for me, it’s really no biggie! I guess because I am quite satisfied where I am now at this point in my life. I have a good paying job and a lot of opportunities continue to my way. Just recently, I had a job interview with Aboitiz to work for their power plant located in Tiwi, Albay. I am half-hearted on this one since the location is really quite far; far from my friends and most of all from my family. But let’s see once I receive their job offer. Anyway, to celebrate my birthday, my friends threw a party for me in Antipolo. They prepared everything. Surf and turf menu; shrimps, steak, salad, sausages, yummy! It was really so sweet of them. I had so much fun.

#2

My boyfriend and bestfriend have finally made up. It was hard dividing your time between people you both love. Life is easy once again.

#3

I finally told my bestfriend my problems with his dad. How his dad managed (or the lack thereof) our project and how he used up our funds. It was emotional for him. I can breathe better now.

#4

We’re cooking something really big and I mean really big. We are all keepings our finger crossed.

#5

I’m back studying. I’m taking a diploma course in Ateneo Business School and my class started just last week.

#6

I completed a small project for a friend who was commissioned to do a brochure for this home décor specialty store. My friend hired me to be the photographer. We’ll it’s been awhile since the last time took hold of my camera so I was quite eager to take on the job. However, while shooting, it bored me to death since it’s a product shoot. No models, nothing but baskets, pillows, chairs, etc. No brainer really! Anyway, the client liked my work. I earned enough to buy me a new lens! Cool huh?

#7

Finally, I renewed my passport. I was suffering from a really bad hang over I could still smell alcohol in my breath when I went to DFA to renew my passport. The end product? The ugliest picture of myself ever taken in my life! And I have to bear with it for the next 5 years!! Argh!!

Anyway, it’s nice to be back here. Lots of back reading to do especially from some interesting bloggers I follow here. Ciao!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Amy Oh Amy!

I woke up yesterday faced with a sad news, Amy Winehouse is dead. It didn’t come as a surprise coz as we all know, over the past few years, Amy has been battling personal problems and substance abuse. But still, the news came as a bit of a shock to me coz I have always been hoping she’d come around and once more make use of her unique talent and create more beautiful music. All hope is in vain now. I came to know Amy’s existence in 2008 when she won the Grammy’s Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance for her second album Back to Black. Many artists questioned such victory including Janet Jackson why such an award be given to someone like her who has drug problems. But Grammy’s is about recognizing people for their artistry and musical excellence and not just how an artist lives her or his life. Amy, by any measure, deserves such honor. In this generation, Amy’s soulful voice sets her apart from other artist. When I listen to her songs, her voice just totally consumes me. It was my own addiction, my own heroine. I love Soul and Jazz music. To find an artist in our time that can attack such genre with ease and such conviction is rare. Amy fits that role perfectly. She died at age 27 and joined the ranks of the so-called 27 club which includes Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison among others. I mourn for her loss.

Amy, thank you for the wonderful music. Your pain is over now. Sleep tight my love.

Valerie


Love is a Losing Game


Tears Dry On Their Own

Friday, July 15, 2011

Hanging On

We all have to experience the highs and lows of life. It’s a cycle which we all have to experience. It builds our character. It’s what shapes us. It’s what defines us. And at this moment, gravity has unleashed it full effect on me. I am hitting rock bottom.

I don’t even know how to start this. I don’t usually complain. Most of the time, I keep quite. People who know me give me credit for the kind of patience that I have. Yes, I am a patient man; to people, to situations, to everything. But a man can only take so much. There are times you just can’t contain all your frustrations as such I am here taking refuge in this blog. What I can’t speak, I hope I can write here, without inhibitions and without being cautious of how people around me would feel.

My dad left for New York just a few weeks ago. Our family owns a 15 door apartment and that’s what kept dad busy after he retired 10 years ago. When he left for the US, he endorsed it to my younger sister as well as taking care of the household. I don’t live with them anymore. I’ve been independent since 2003. I officially moved out 3 years ago from our house in Malabon when I bought my own house in Pasig. I still visit them though as often as I could just to check on them. Few days ago, my sister called and told me none of the tenants would want to pay their rent. And I also learned from her that most of them in fact have their payments delayed for 3 to 7 months already! To make situations worse, the bills at home are already due including the salary of the maids. Without any collection, my sister wouldn’t be able to pay them not to mention their grocery and food allowance. Since my dad is away, I am forced to deal with this situation. This morning, I instructed my sister to go to Barangay and file a complaint and demand the tenants to pay what they owe us and to vacate their houses. I have decided to close down the apartment. It’s due for a major renovation anyway. It’s in a very bad shape and I myself wouldn’t consider living in it. So starting next week, for 3 consecutive Fridays, I would have to take a leave from work just to attend the hearings. I am not expecting they would easily give in to my demands. I do not expect any settlements at all will be made. All I really want from the Barangay is just a clearance coz I’m already ready to file ejectment case in court against them. I will make them eat their words “Kung mga magulang nyo nga di kami mapaalis kayo pa kayang mga anak lang!” Well, let’s see about that.

Just 3 months ago, I awarded a project to my bestfriend’s dad. They were financially struggling so to help them out in their predicament, I gave them 3 million worth of project. I had to go through so much just to ensure that such project be awarded to them. The project involves renovation of our company’s lobby and conference room. We started ok. Everything was in order, the manpower, the materials and the equipment. However, by the middle of the project, they experienced shortage in fund. So to help them out and not to compromise the project, I loaned them PhP400,000. It went smooth again after that. But with just 10% remaining before completion, they encountered again some funding issues. For two weeks they stopped working. My boss then came to my office and asked me how come nothing is happening and when will the project be finally completed? Actually, we are already 1 month behind schedule. To pacify him I did my best just to make him believe I am on top of things and whatever is happening (or the lack thereof) at that moment, I am fully aware of it and that they are part of the plan and are to be expected. Actually during those two weeks, they were waiting for their collection of the partial billing they made to our company. And so finally last week it was released. I thought I could finally breathe again. But, no! Instead of using all those collections to fund for the completion of this project, my bestfriend’s dad decided to use partial amount of that money for his own use. Ok, I know they needed the money, but come on! My ass is on the line here!! Have I not done enough for them for at least for just one moment they would also think about me and my situation? All I expected from them is a little consideration. My boss is pressuring me that come this Monday, the lobby and the conference room are already available for use. We are almost there. The carpet tiles will be installed tomorrow however few more items still need to be bought like the LED TV for the lobby and some furniture. So when I asked him about it this morning, he told me, all money was used already. DAMN! I’m sure when our lobby opens on Monday, the one thing my boss would ask me, “Where the fuck is the TV??” I wish I still have enough money in my bank to pay for it just so I could cover up their shortcomings. But I have also exhausted already my savings! I already loaned them money and just few months ago I recently bought a house here in Laguna and paid 20% of that amount in cash (which by the way is also giving me some headache right now. They weren’t able to deliver the unit based on the agreed turn over date. Damn Avida!) Plus the situation with my sister who also needs some money at home. Having said all that, my finances is not in good shape right now. 500 pesos or even 100 pesos has more value to me now than it used too. Everything appears to me as expensive right now. That’s how bad things are to me at this point.

Frankly speaking, I am kinda worried right now. But there’s a part of me telling me everything’s gonna be fine. I’ve be through so many shits in life. Much more complicated and difficult with what I’m facing right now. That’s why I remain positive and hopeful. I know this will just be temporary. In a month’s time, everything will be back to normal, hopefully. But till then, I have to remain strong.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Work It!!

Finally, after 4 long months I was able to go back to the gym! I've been slacking the past few months coz I've been very busy with alot of things. Just can't find the energy and the motivation to go to the gym. Last Sunday when I attended a friend's party, there were people who were surprised and noted how much weight I lost. Well, I did not actually lose it. Instead, they were moved to other parts of my body where we normally hate them to be. Damn beer belly! LOL! Anyway, I really find it weird when most people who goes to the gym would complain that once they stop working out, they'd gain weight like crazy. Well, I have a different case. Coz once I stop working out, all my mass melts and when i look in the mirror I'd wonder, where have all my muscles gone? Crazy huh? Anyway, I am committed to gain back my old form. I have 3 months to accomplish this. In October, I'll be going to Japan to attend a conference. Then few days after that, I'll be spending a week in Boracay with my friends. And finally, in November, I'll be going back to the US and I wanna look good when I get there. I'd be meeting relatives and friends I haven't seen in a long time. And I want to make a good impression. Hmm. I hope that's enough motivation for me. This is it! Time to work it!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Prediction

When we were kids, Mom one day told us that a fortune teller told her that someday one of her kids will take her to America. Being the brightest among her children, everybody thought it's gonna be me. I actually believed that too. Just this morning, I drove dad to the airport to go to NY. While driving, I remembered this prediction and realized, its was half-fulfilled. Mom never lived through it so it's only Dad taking that flight alone without her. And if she's still with us right now, it was my sister after all and not me who'll take her there. I can only shake my head right now. How fate indeed sometimes play tricks on us.



Walking the Streets of New York



At Central Park



The old town of Medina


Staten Island

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Light of a Million Mornings

It's been awhile since the last time I wrote here. I've been really busy with work and at home. I'll write more about it next time. In the meantime, let me share to you all my all time favorite inspirational song. Mid 2009 I experienced a personal crisis. This song best describes how I was able to overcome such uncertainty.

Light of a Million Mornings
Perfomed by Adventist University of the Philippines (AUP) Ambassadors



I couldn't see the sunshine through the shadows.
I could seem to find the soul to care.
And in the darkest hour,
You touched me with your power
and when I looked your light is everywhere.

Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
The light of a million mornings start in me

I never tried to understand the sunrise.
I only know it takes away the dark.
I can't explain your healing or all the joy I'm feeling.
I only know you've come into my heart.

Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
The light of a million mornings start in me.

Bridge:
And now that your glory has come shining through.
Let my life be a candle, Lord,
That shines for you,
shines for you,
shines for you.

Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
O the light of a million mornings, O the light of a million mornings,
Has start
The light of a million mornings
Has start in me

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Why I Am Againts the Divorce Bill (HB1799)

The Reproductive Health Bill is still far from reaching its conclusion; yet, a new controversial bill is already brought to the table, the Divorce Bill. The bill was introduced by Gabriela Women’s Party which seeks to amend Executive Order 209 otherwise known as the Family Code of the Philippines to include Divorce as one of the legal remedy for couples with irreconcilable differences who may want to get out of their marriage.

Currently, the Family Code only allows declaration of nullity, annulment and legal separation as an option for married couple who can no longer live together. Let us first understand how declaration of nullity, annulment, legal separation and divorce differ from one another.

Declaration of Nullity


In essence, declaration of nullity is different from annulment. Declaration of nullity considers that the marriage is void and invalid from the very beginning. Conditions for declaration of nullity are shown at the end of this blog.

Annulment


Annulment is a declaration that a marriage is valid but voidable if during at the time of marriage, exist the following conditions as provided in Article 45 of the Family Code (Refer at the end of this blog). Usually in courts “psychological incapacity” is used as a reason to file for annulment.

Legal Separation


Legal separation allows a couple to be physically apart but still is considered as legally married. It may be filed based on the following conditions as provided by in Article 55 of the Family Code (Refer at the end of the blog)

Divorce (As proposed under HB 1799)

Divorce is the dissolution of a valid marriage. It differs from annulment since it allows issues that may arise during the marriage as grounds to have the marriage terminated. A petition for divorce may be filed based on the following grounds.

(1) The petitioner has been separated de facto (in fact) from his or her spouse for at least five years at the time of the filing of the petition and reconciliation is highly improbable,

(2) The petitioner has been legally separated from his or her spouse for at least two years at the time of the filing of the petition and reconciliation is highly improbable;

(3) When any of the grounds for legal separation that has caused the irreparable breakdown of the marriage.

(4) When one or both spouses are psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations; and

(5) When the spouses suffer from irreconcilable differences that have caused the irreparable breakdown of the marriage;

Among those presented above, only those who were legally separated are not allowed to remarry since union between the couple is still considered valid under the law. As it is right now, there are legal remedies that a couple may take should they agree it would be difficult for them to continue on with their marriage as such parting of ways is the only remedy. So the question is, why add divorce? The proponents presented their arguments on the Explanatory Note section of the proposed bill and are presented as follows:

“Reality tells us that there are many failed, unhappy marriages across all Filipino classes. Many couples especially from the marginalized sectors, who have no access to the courts, simply end up separating without the benefit of legal processes.”


And would divorce be able to address it? Would it make the courts accessible to the so-called marginalized sectors? Access to court is a totally different issue from failed and unhappy marriages, as such, needs to be addressed separately. Top of mind, I can identify two reasons why the marginalized sectors have no access to courts. First, education. Do they even know their rights? I am fortunate enough to finish college and in one of our subjects we studied the Philippine Constitution and even the Family Code of the Philippines. Unfortunately, most poor families could not afford college education for their kids. So how can a poor Filipino learn all these things? The first important step is to educate people of their rights because that’s the only time they would know how to fight for it. Lastly, financial capabilities. Can the marginalized sector pay a lawyer when they can’t even afford to put meals on their tables? Even if divorce is legalized, would they have the money to pay for it? It’s the same banana. Annulment, legal separation, and divorce would entail costs and still is not affordable to these marginalized sectors.

“Even when couples start out well in their marriage, political, economic and social realities take their toll on their relationship. Some are not prepared to handle the intricacies of married life.”

This statement takes away from us being responsible to decisions we make. We all make mistakes but we have to learn from it and live with it. What if after having two kids I suddenly realized I am not prepared to handle parenthood? Can I just abandon my children and my role as a parent like what they are saying in a divorce, my role as a husband? We need to own up the consequences of our actions. Providing a back door exit to marriage may even worsen this situation. Couple who should think a lot of times before getting married may need only to think once since an easy way out is always available. If a couple is not prepared to get married, then they should not marry. Period. As such, it is the responsibility of the state and the parents to ensure that before any couple enters the sanctity of marriage, they are indeed prepared for it, physically, mentally and financially. Aggressive and effective pre-marriage counseling/screening should be accorded to the couple. Divorce is not the solution to the inefficiency of the parents and the state to do its duty.

“For a large number of women, the inequalities and violence in marriage negate its ideals as the embodiment of love, care and safety and erode the bases upon which a marriage is founded. The marital relations facilitate the commission of violence and perpetuate their oppression. The 2003 report of the Philippine National Police shows that wife battering accounted for 53.6 percent of the total 8,011 cases of violence against women. About three of ten perpetrators were husbands of the victims. Husbands accounted for 28 per cent of the violence against women crimes. The Department of Social Welfare and Development reported that in 2003, of the 15,314 women in especially difficult circumstances that the agency serviced, 25.1 per cent or 5,353 were cases of physical abuse, maltreatment and battering.”

Divorce cannot and will not prevent inequalities and violence in any marriage. With or without divorce, domestic violence will still exist. However, there is already an existing law that shall protect women from such inequalities and abuse as contained in the Republic Act 9710 also known as the Magna Carta for Women which was signed in 2009. What is required from the government is to have all women educated on their rights and how to protect themselves as provided by such law. If any form of violence should exist in the household, married women should know how to file cases as provided by the RA 9710 and consequently, if necessary, file for Legal Separation. I would like to stress my point, given this argument by the proponents of this bill, there exists already legal remedies to this issue.


Big numbers were presented above, so let’s further drill down those numbers. In that 2003 report, it was said that a total of 8,011 cases of violence against women were reported. In a population of 90M, that accounts for 0.000089% of the total population. Significant? You tell me. I am not saying that we should ignore these cases. As a matter of fact, I applaud the passing of the Magna Carta for Women. But what I am saying is that, people should be careful in using statistical numbers to defend their position. Those numbers will not ever reflect the true picture of our society.

“The present laws relating to separation of couples and termination of marriage are inadequate to respond to the myriad causes of failed marriages. Particularly, the remedies of declaration of nullity and annulment do not cover the problems that occur during the existence of marriage. Legal separation, on the other hand, while covering problems during marriage, does not put an end to marriage.”

They why don’t we get to the root of the problem? What causes marriage to fail? Have we done enough to understand this and provide solution to this issue? Separation and termination of marriage does not and will not address the causes of failed marriages, same goes with divorce. Fact of the matter is, divorce will even make marriages prone to breakdown since it provides an easy way out, a simple alternative, than to deal with the intricacies of solving marital problems and challenges.

“In practice, Article 36 has become a form of divorce, as valid marriages are declared void every day in the guise of “psychological incapacity.” The innumerable Article 36 cases brought to trial courts is an indication of the elasticity of Article 36 to accommodate the needs of many couples desiring to terminate their marriages. It is proof that divorce is needed in the Philippines. Article 36 provides a remedy only for spouses who can prove “psychological incapacity”. The concept certainly cannot accommodate all cases where divorce would have necessary. What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage. That law will put an end to the creative efforts played daily in courtrooms across the country to accommodate a wide range of cases in order to prove “psychological incapacity.” (Women’s Legal Bureau, Inc., The Relevance of Divorce in the Philippines, 1998)”

I agree that such provision on the Family Code is abused my many to get out of marriage. It is as a matter of fact a milking cow by lawyers and by some corrupt judges. This practice must be put to stop and divorce is not the solution to it. To remedy this situation, I propose that once a petition for annulment has been granted, the one who admitted and proven in court as psychological incapacitated should not be allowed to remarry. Only the complainant should be allowed to do so. Let’s see if any of the couple would agree to admit they are the one with the problem. I think it’s stupid to allow anyone who is “proven” to be psychologically incapacitated to remarry when you know that such condition would only make that person’s second marriage void as stipulated in Article 36 and 45 of the Family Code.

“The bill seeks to introduce divorce in Philippine law with a strong sense of confidence that it will be used responsibly by Filipino couples. This confidence stems from the experiences of Filipino families that show that separation is usually the last resort of many Filipino couples whose marriage has failed. Cases of battered women also support this. Battered women invariably seek separation only after many years of trying to make the marriage work; separation only becomes imperative for them when they realize that it is necessary for their and their children’s survival. Divorce could actually provide protection to battered women and their children from further violence and abuse.”


This is an admission of fact that indeed divorce will never prevent domestic violence. They said that because Filipino women are very devoted to their marriage many would endure violence, and that fact alone should allay fears of many Filipinos that divorce will be abused by many couples. So what is the point of this statement? Divorce can only end the abuse but not prevent it, so as the legal separation as provided by the Family Code. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Domestic violence should be addressed even before it is happens and not just provide a solution after crime has been committed.

“With the predominance of the Catholic faith in the Philippines, the fear that divorce will erode personal values on marriage appears unfounded. The experience of Italy, where the Vatican is located, and Spain, two predominantly Catholic countries which practice divorce, supports this. Those countries have a low rate of divorce. Italy registers a 7% rate while Spain registers 15%. The figures reflect the strong influence of religious beliefs and culture on individuals in deciding to terminate marital relations.”

The figures are outright misleading. The proponents should have done their assignments well before again throwing these numbers. Currently in Italy, their government has recognized that there is a crisis in their marriage system. More and more Italians opt not to get married as such more than 80% of their men still stay home with their mothers until well into their thirties. In Spain, most couples opt to live in together, also known as “cohabitation”, than get married. As such in both countries, there has been a decrease in the number of “first time” marriages. Divorce paved the way for a new family structure which includes cohabitation, extramarital births, single parenthood, and one-person households. Is this the kind of family structure we would want for ourselves? The low rate registered by both countries does not at all reflect the strong influence of their religious belief but a cultural shift on how they look at marriage. True enough, why marry if it will end in divorce anyway?

One interesting aspect that we also need to look at is the mean age of people getting married in all three countries. Both in Spain and Italy, average age for men and women at first marriage is early thirties and late twenties respectively. And the Philippines? 25 for men and 19 for women! Given this disparity, this maybe explains why there are many failed marriages in the Philippines. So it’s pointless to compare the experience of Spain and Italy and assume that Philippines will also post a low number of divorce rate. This is like comparing apples with oranges. As they pointed out earlier in their argument, many Filipino married couple after few years into their marriage would realize they are not prepared to married life. Well, simply because they are too young and not mature enough to handle the challenges of a married life. This is common in the marginalized sectors as well as in the rural areas. As such this is where we should focus our attention, to ensure that couples who would want to get married are mature enough for such undertaking. Proper education is what’s needed.

“Historically, divorce had been part of our legal system. In the beginning of the 16th century, before the Spanish colonial rule, absolute divorce was widely practiced among ancestral tribes such as the Tagbanwas of Palawan, the Gadangs of Nueva Viscaya, the Sagadans and Igorots of the Cordilleras, and the Monobos, Bila-ans and Moslems of the Visayas and Mindanao islands.”

This may be true. Those were also the days when a captured enemy is beheaded and displayed as a trophy. Do you think such practice can also still apply to us, in our time? When the Spanish came, along with it the Christian faith, our religious beliefs and morals changed the norms of our society.


“Divorce was also available during the American period, starting from 1917 (under Act No. 2710 enacted by the Philippine Legislature), and during the Japanese occupation (under Executive Order No. 141) and after, until 1950. It was only on August 30, 1950, when the New Civil Code took effect, that divorce was disallowed under Philippine law.”

And those were the years we were occupied by the American and Japanese as such, if not all, most of their laws were applied to the Filipinos. And when in 1950, four years after we gained our full independence from the Americans, our fathers then brought back high morals standards in our society and as a consequence, divorce bill was repealed.

“This bill is respectful of and sensitive to differing religious beliefs in the Philippines. It recognizes that the plurality of religious beliefs and cultural sensibilities in the Philippines demand that different remedies for failed marriages should be made available. For this reason, the bill retains the existing remedies of legal separation, declaration of nullity of the marriage and annulment and only adds divorce as one more remedy. Couples may choose from these remedies depending on their situation, religious beliefs, cultural sensibilities, needs and emotional state."

There are indeed different denominations in our country, but majority are still considered as Christians. And it is a fact that divorce goes against Christian doctrines. So how can this be respectful and sensitive to their religious beliefs? This statement is totally wrong and irrelevant. Why don’t we legalize drugs as well and let our countrymen choose whether they want it or not “depending on their situation, cultural sensibilities, need and emotional state.” The danger with implementing something which you know is against someone’s moral belief is like dangling the forbidden fruit in their face.

"This bill also seeks to make Philippine law consistent in the way it treats religious beliefs with respect to termination of marriage. Philippine law through the Code of Muslim Personal Laws of the Philippines (Presidential Decree No. 1083 [1977]) allows divorce among Filipino Muslims, in deference to the Islamic faith which recognizes divorce. Non-Muslim Filipinos should have the same option under Philippine law, in accordance with their religious beliefs."

What??! Should we allow then every man in this country to have as many wives as he can keep? I cannot see any sense why they even mention this statement as an argument. The fact is, majority of those Non-Muslim are Catholics and we all know that the Catholic Church is vocal on its stand that it does not want it! So how can this be in accordance to the Non-Muslim Filipinos religious belief?

“The Philippines and Malta are the only two remaining countries in the world without a divorce law. This bill is being introduced based on indications that Philippine society is ready for the legalization of divorce.”

Just recently, Malta, through a consultative referendum allowed the legalization of divorce. As such, the Philippines is the only country left where divorce is not allowed. So what? Frankly speaking, that’s hardly an argument at all to push for the legalization of divorce in our country. Not because everyone is in it, we should jump on the bandwagon as well. Filipinos are Filipinos. We are not Maltese. We do not live and think like the rest of the world and vice versa. Our culture is different from the rest of the world so I find this argument really lame.


“The sanctity of marriage is not based on the number of marriages existing but on the quality of marital relationships.”

Sanctity of marriage is not based on the quality of marital relationship either. When you talk about sanctity of marriage, there is a religious implication attached to it. Sanctity is defined as holiness or sacredness. The term Sanctity of Marriage stems from the belief that it is a union derived from God as such, gains its state of holiness. It is not a unit of measurement in terms of quantity or quality, but merely states the inherent nature and character of such union, that is of being sacred or holy.

The proponents of the bill could have done a better job in justifying their position to push for the legalization of divorce. It’s funny because I’ve read more convincing arguments for divorce from other bloggers and news columnists. After I have refuted their arguments, now let me present my case why I stand against this bill.

First, I believe divorce is anti-women. As we all know, most women in this country particularly those from the marginalized sector and those from the provinces are very submissive to their husbands. It is sadly, part of our culture. They devote and dedicate their lives to the care and need of their husbands and children even to the point of neglecting their ownselves. In a patriarchal society such as ours, women are relegated to depend on the mercy of their husbands, should stay home, and tend to the needs of the household. And then after years of her devotion to her marriage, the husband suddenly decides to divorce her, what becomes of her? Wives who know nothing but serve their husbands? And then the husband decides to take another wife and after few years decides to divorce her too? How many women should suffer this fate? We all know the philandering nature of Filipino men. Divorce will give him the power to play around with women, change from one relationship to another as quickly as he changes his clothes. And how about the children born out of those marriages? What happens to them? Not every Filipina is as empowered as the proponents of the bill from Gabriela. Not every Filipina is aware of their basic rights. Not every Filipina had access to education to be able to empower them. And this is the basic issue that needs to be addressed first.

Second, it is unconstitutional. Our constitution recognizes the importance of family as such it further commits itself to protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social institution. Can divorce be consistent to this basic commitment of the State? I think not, therefore to be able to allow divorce, the constitution would need to be amended first.

Lastly, it demeans the value and sanctity of marriage. Marriage is a lifetime partnership and the foundation of our society. It’s like when you build a house, if the foundation is weak, what happens to it? Divorce threatens this foundation as such can lead to the erosion of our society. With divorce, marriage is treated merely as a contract between two people with termination clause written all over it. It weakens the bond between couple. It lessens the threshold of a couple to bear the hardships of any normal married couple face. It makes any marriage volatile as such prone to dissolution.

Discussion on moral issue is a hard one to take so I would not want to go that path. But I leave you with this conversation I had with a friend few days ago.

Friend: How do feel about divorce?

Me: I’m actually against it.


Friend: Then how do you feel about couples separating but can’t go through the process of annulment, yet still, being as human as they are, eventually find new partners they could spend the rest of their lives with? Don’t you think it’s unfair that they can’t seal that partnership and worse, are being judged by the society as immoral merely because they are still technically married and can’t afford annulment?


Me: And you think divorce can change all that?


Friend: Yes. With divorce, their single status is reinstated and people will not think anymore it’s immoral for them to live with their new partners.


Me: In the eyes of men, probably yes, but how about in the eyes of God?

One of the challenges we face in our time is that everything around us changes so fast. We continue to create things to make life easier and convenient for all us. How far can we allow ourselves to make decisions merely based on practicality and convenience? Is morality a thing of the past? Does the law of man dictates what is moral and what is not? Ponder.



_________________________________

For Eveyone’s Information (Source: The Family Code of the Philippines)

Declaration of Nullity

In essence, declaration of nullity is different from annulment. Declaration of nullity considers that the marriage is void and invalid from the very beginning. Conditions for declaration of nullity are provided in Articles 35-37 of the Family Code.

(1) Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians;


(2) Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so;


(3) Those solemnized without license;


(4) Those bigamous or polygamous marriages

(5) Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other; and


(6) Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53 as shown below.

a. Either of the former spouses may marry again after compliance with the requirements of the immediately preceding Article; otherwise, the subsequent marriage shall be null and void

(7) A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization.

(8) Marriages between the following are incestuous and void from the beginning, whether relationship between the parties be legitimate or illegitimate:

Annulment

Annulment is a declaration that a marriage is valid but voidable if during at the time of marriage, exist the following conditions as provided in Article 45 of the Family Code.


(1) That the party in whose behalf it is sought to have the marriage annulled was eighteen years of age or over but below twenty-one, and the marriage was solemnized without the consent of the parents, guardian or person having substitute parental authority over the party, in that order, unless after attaining the age of twenty-one, such party freely cohabited with the other and both lived together as husband and wife;

(2) That either party was of unsound mind, unless such party after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;

(3) That the consent of either party was obtained by fraud (Enumerated below as provided by Article 46 of the Family Code), unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;

• Non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the other party of a crime involving moral turpitude;
• Concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of the marriage, she was pregnant by a man other than her husband;
• Concealment of sexually transmissible disease, regardless of its nature, existing at the time of the marriage; or
• Concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism or homosexuality or lesbianism existing at the time of the marriage.

(4) That the consent of either party was obtained by force, intimidation or undue influence, unless the same having disappeared or ceased, such party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;

(5) That either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable; or

(6) That either party was afflicted with a sexually-transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable.

(7) A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization.

Legal Separation

Legal separation allows a couple to be physically apart but still is considered as legally married. It may be filed based on the following conditions as provided by in Article 55 of the Family Code.


(1) Repeated physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner;

(2) Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation;

(3) Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement;

(4) Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six years, even if pardoned;

(5) Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent;

(6) Lesbianism or homosexuality of the respondent;

(7) Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the Philippines or abroad;

(8) Sexual infidelity or perversion;

(9) Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner; or

(10) Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year.




Monday, May 30, 2011

The Reproductive Health Bill (House Bill 4244)

Many have already been written and said about the proposed Reproductive Health Bill. For awhile I kept my mouth shut because I don’t want to be yacking on something I have limited knowledge of. I would not want to base my opinion merely from what I hear. I needed something concrete. I needed to see the copy of the said proposed RH bill and understand the provisions contained therein as well as do a little reading on my own before I can form an opinion on this important issue which is causing a stir in our country.


Be Fruitful and Multiply (Genesis 1:28)



That’s the main contention of the Catholic Church. If that’s their main argument to oppose the RH bill therefore it’s absolute that all forms of birth control should not be acceptable. Then how come they promote what they call the “natural” method? Isn’t the purpose of the so called “natural” method is also for birth control? On this note, I think they are contradicting themselves. Granting their use of the biblical verse is correct, isn’t one or two, enough to fulfill such instruction from God? The RH bill does not prohibit anyone to have kids but merely encourages a couple to have two children as an ideal family size. It’s not even mandatory or compulsory and no punitive actions will be imposed to anyone should a couple decide to have more than what is recommended. As such, I see no basis why this biblical verse should be used to argue against the RH bill.


Birth Control Methods


There are several methods available for birth control; contraception (preventing the meeting of the sperm and egg cell to form the zygote), contragestion (preventing the implantation of blastocyst or zygote to the uterus) and abortion (the removal of the fetus or embryo from the uterus). The proposed RH bill continues to recognize that abortion is illegal and punishable under the law so abortion is out of our discussion.


Contraception


Examples of artificial methods are use of condoms, diaphragms, and contraceptive pills (progestogen only pill). Sterilization methods such as vasectomy and tubal ligation are also considered under the artificial method. For the natural method, the church promotes lactational method (determining the length of a woman's period of breastfeeding infertility), withdrawal, and total abstinence. Either through natural or artificial method, both have the same purpose, to prevent the union of the sperm and the egg cell as such, I don’t see any difference between either methods. So for me, either method is acceptable.


Contragestions



Examples of contragestions are oral contraceptives (Combined Estrogen and Progestogen), hormonal injectibles and Intra-Uterine Devices (IUDs). Through this method, it is said that it prevents the implantation of the zygote (product of the fusion of the sperm and egg cell) to the uterus and thus is expelled, as such, considered by the pro-RH advocates as abortificient.

Abortificient


Abortificient is defined as drugs or substances that causes pregnancy to end prematurely and causes an abortion. However, it is only during at which the zygote attached itself to the wall of the uterus the process of pregnancy begins. Therefore, if this process will not happen by preventing the zygote to attach to the uterus, the process of pregnancy will not occur, ergo, there is no abortion. How can you end something which has not even started yet? However, conservatives might still argue, and what of that zygote? They adhere to the belief that human life begins at that moment when the union of sperm and egg cell occurs (conception). Do we consider zygote as a human being? Where does the human life exactly begin?


Beginning of Human Life


People will never come to an agreement where human life exactly begins. Never. For the answer to such question is drawn from each ones belief and values which are almost always different from one person to another. Conservatives strongly assert that human life begins during conception and believes that zygotes should be protected for they eventually form the human being.

First, I do not agree that human life is created during conception. The exact moment at which the sperm and egg cell unite is just part of a process to create life. It is not a definite or distinct point in time when we can say human life is created. This zygote would still have to undergo various stages of physical and chemical processes before the “process of creation” is said to be completed. I personally believe that life begins when pregnancy begins, when the process of fertilization is complete and the zygote finally attaches itself to the uterus. However, the conservatives insist that zygote should be protected still for its potential to form human being. Well, my sperm has the potential to form human being too right? Should it be protected too? I am sure they would further argue that my sperm would need the egg cell to complete the process. Well, just as equally important that the zygote must attach itself to the uterus, till then, they are nothing but a group or mass of human cells.


To sum up my points with regard to acceptability of artificial birth control methods, both contraception and contragestion in a moral context (or should I say, my moral judgment), I see no reason why I should object to it. However, there may be legal impediments as to the applicability of contragestion, which is unfortunate, and may be considered unconstitutional for it was explicitly stated in the 1987 Constitution that the State “should equally protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.” I therefore say, that this provision of the constitution should be amended.

Sex Education to Grade Five to High School Students


The Catholic Church strongly opposes this provision in the RH Bill for they believe that it would allow parents to abdicate their primary role of educating their children especially in the area of life sexuality which as they say is the sacred gift from God. Personally I grew up not learning about sex and sexuality from my parents. In a conservative society such as ours, sex is not a common topic in any household. Whether the parents are embarrassed to open up such topic to their children or they do not want to embarrass their kids. I do agree that the primary responsibility of educating children about sex should be on the parents but are these parents well informed and educated themselves to pass on to their children their knowledge on this sensitive topic? The rise in cases of teen-age pregnancy is an indication where the church and the parents failed miserably. Have they done enough to educate it’s their children on pre-marital sex? Seems not, now let the State do its job. In our time when Maria Clara is now Mary Claire, with or without sex education, many children will continue to engage in pre-marital sex. At least with enough education on sex and sexuality these children would know how to protect themselves. RH Bill does not take away from their parents even from the church the responsibility to teach these children about sexuality. It is still their responsibility to teach them, at least the moral context of sex and sexuality. However, I believe that sex education should be taught only to high school students. Are cases of pre-teens pregnancy (11 to 12 years) that significant to include the grade five and six students as well? I think not. Now this is where I think the RH Bill should reconsider.


Over Population and Poverty Alleviation


RH bills aims to address the alarming population growth rate in the country which can indirectly help address poverty. Again, let me stress the word “indirectly” for there in no one solution that can eradicate poverty. Addressing overpopulation is only but one of them. Each country has its own resources. Resources it can use to provide nourishment to its people. But more often than not, these resources are limited. Don’t you find it alarming that we are now importing rice and sugar from other countries just so to meet our demand? It is indeed alarming for we are not generating enough food supply to feed our people as such importation becomes inevitable considering the fact that we are an agricultural country. There are just too many mouths to feed. Many would continue to argue that people is the best resources of a nation. I wouldn’t disagree, but how many is enough and too much? Let say for example a family of 10. The father earns enough to feed only 4 children. Then what happens to the other 4? What kind of human resources do we end up with? A population of undernourished people? Will that benefit a nation? I think not. We have time and again recognized that our country is facing a serious issue on population growth but have never taken concrete actions to address such issue. The Philippines currently sits as the 12 most populated country in the world and continues to be on a sharp increasing trend. With limited and dwindling resources, how can we ensure there would still be left for generations to come, resources which are vital to their existence? We must take actions now!






Thursday, May 26, 2011

Photography and Me

I was once asked what Photography means to me? I replied, "Photography is a powerful medium that compels you to appreciate and see the beauty in everything around us; from a speck of dust to what our naked eyes normally see. It allows you to share a piece of yourself to others by giving them that opportunity to look at things the way you see them."
Eversince i was a little kid, i have always been in love with arts. i remember browsing the volumes of enclopedia at home just looking at the pictures of artworks from the great masters. at a very young age, i met picasso, da vinci, michaelangelo, van gogh among others. It inspired me to paint but it only caused me frustrations. I have the vision, yet my hands can’t translate such vision on canvass. I remember going home depressed from my art classes coz my works usually get low grades. Until one day, I just gave up and accepted the fact that painting is really not for me.
However, I was thankful though that my appreciation for the arts remained in me. I would still visit museum and exhibits and marvel at the paintings of juan luna, fernando amorsolo, felix hidalgo, among others (when i get filthy rich, i promise to buy one of those luna’s paintings. argh!!!). And in one of those visits, there it was, a collection of beautiful photographs. I remember being so excited jumping from one photograph to another. It sent chills to my body. And at the end of the last frame, it occured to me, I could still be an artist after all. It took years though before i was finally able to get a hold of a camera. At 17 years old when digital photography was not yet that popular, when your idea of photography is having your own darkroom and those big cameras, I thought photography is only for grown ups and those who have money.
The Old Lady of Ivana (Won in various online portait category contest)
It was through Justin that finally made me decide to take pictures. I was envious of the photographs he was taking. So I bought a camera and started taking my own pictures. I started with Point and Shoot and then a year after, with a DLSR. However, I think I pressured myself too much to come up with beautiful pictures that most of the time, I'd end up not satisfied and frustrated with what I would produce. Till I can't take the pressure anymore and decided to give it a break. And it's been 2 years now since then. I don't know when my muse will return to me. Anyway, shown here are some of my published work.
Infanticipation (My pregnant friend, Maan)The Boy Behind the Door CassandraThe Diva (My friend Charles. Post processing also done by me)Flaming Sky (Won First Place in a Photography Magazine Contest)SL 101 (Won in an online contest Still Life category)Stripes (Bought by PAL for their calendar)The Golden Gate

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Caught in the Middle

Last night my bestfriend dropped by my house to talk to me about what happened last Saturday when he had a huge fight with my boyfriend. But before he could say anything, this is what I said to him:

Gone were the days when I have to ask for your approval and your acceptance of my partner. Everyone who is new in a relationship has to go through with it. When you find someone you love and who loves you back, that doesn’t end there for we do not live on our own, as such it is important that people close to us would accept and love him as well. And you did, and for that I thank you. But that phase in our relationship has already come to pass. After all these years, I believe that you and him have already developed a relationship between the two of you and that, being, as good friends. A relationship I acknowledge, respect and thankful for. But now you guys are having problems, well this is all I have to say to it, it’s your relationship, so you guys deal with it. I am standing on a neutral ground. I will not speak to you, either, against or to defend him. Neither will I do the same to you in front of him. For I am afraid if I do that, one or both of you might pass judgment on me as being biased as I am close to you both. I would not want to take any sides, for if I do that I would end up hurting either of you. You both mean so much to me. And it would cause me pain if because of my words and actions one of you gets hurt. Yes, I am caught in the middle but I’m leaving everything up to you both. This time, do not think of me. Never let your thoughts of me cloud your judgment. Do what you think and feel is right. I know how difficult this is for you for I know how important I am to you. But let me assure you, I will never let anything affect our friendship, especially not this. And that is why I am saying this to you now. Whatever comes out of this situation, I shall never pass judgment on you. I shall be, and will always be here for you as you have always been there for me.


We spent the night drinking a bottle of wine reminiscing our past. We also talked in lengths about our plans for our future. No words were spoken regarding what happened that night nor anything about my boyfriend. That night, it was just all about me and my bestfriend.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Depressed


That’s exactly how I am feeling right now. Last night, my bestfriend and my boyfriend had a huge fight. They uttered words that would be very hard to retract and I’m sure it will take awhile before things between them goes back to the way it used to be. Being in the middle of it is a difficult place to be. I hate being in this kind of situation. Now as I sit alone here in my room, not wanting to talk to either of them, it keeps me thinking should I do something or can I just isolate myself from it and let them deal with it on their own? I have a lot of things going on right now and I can’t take all this drama at this point. I hate dealing with this kind of issues. I hate people around me fighting.

This morning while browsing the net I came across this news which shocked me.



Malaria suspected in death of Pinoy doc in Sierra Leone
abs-cbnNEWS.com
Posted at 05/21/2011 7:22 AM Updated as of 05/21/2011 9:20 AM

MANILA, Philippines - A Filipino doctor taking part in a medical mission in Sierra Leone died after suffering from illness, feared to be malaria. Dr. Emmanuel Ganal died in Sierra Leone, according to his relatives. Gana's relatives in Ilocos said he became ill during a medical mission.

They said they received a call from his colleagues last May 12, informing them Ganal was confined in a hospital there. The next day, at around 2 a.m. local time, they received another call, saying he died after becoming ill.


Ciriaca Melchor, Ganal's grandmother, said she is having a hard time accepting his grandson's death. Ganal's body will be brought to the Philippines this week. His remains will first be brought to the University of Santo Tomas, where he studied medicine, after which he will be brought to Laoag City.

Other family members will coming home from Hawaii to join the family in mourning. -- With a report from Hadji Rieta, ABS-CBN News Laoag


Eman was a college friend of mine. We were classmates in UST when I was still finishing my pre-med course. He was supportive and very kind to everyone. I wasn’t aware that he joined this medical mission in Africa which is a testament on the kind of person that he was, selfless. He died doing what he loved best, helping other who cannot help themselves. He wasn’t born with a lot of money and was raised and supported only by his grandmother. It breaks my heart just thinking what she’s going through right now. All I can do at this point is offer a prayer that he may find peace and that may God reward him for his kindness and his good heart.