Sunday, October 9, 2011
Crossroad
Friday, October 7, 2011
Japan, Japan
On my first day here in Japan, I visited our facility located in Moriyama. I'm quite tired now to describe everything I saw so I'll just post some pictures which I took using my phone. But over-all I was impressed how fully automated the facility is. It made me feel that our facility in the Philippines is neglected and is way behind in terms of technology considering we are of the same company. Anyway, I learned so much today and I plan to bring some of those learnings and try to implement it in our own facility.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Love Confession: Alvin
When I went to the bar to buy another drink suddenly someone crept from behind and stood beside me. “Hey”, he said. “I’m Alvin”. At that moment, I swear, my heart skipped a bit. A casual conversation ensued after the brief introduction. He was such a charmer. He’s a bit younger than I am but I was able to sense a level of maturity you rarely find from someone his age. As much as I wanted to spend the entire night with him, I excused myself conscious that my friends would already be looking for me. As I took a step away from him, he gently tapped my shoulder and asked, “Can I have your number?” to which I willingly obliged. Few hours later, Mark suggested that we all crash and continue our party at his place, to which everyone agreed. While I was driving on my way to his place, suddenly I received a text message. “Hey what’s up? Where are you?” It was Alvin. So I told him I left the bar already and on my way to my Mark’s place. “Hmm, would you want to go to my place instead?” He asked. At that moment, I wasn’t really quite sure what to do. “Is this going to be just another one night stand?” I asked myself. I was a bit disappointed yet I couldn’t let that opportunity pass. I called up Mark and told him “Hey my dad just called. He wants me to go home now. Something important came up”. I hanged up the phone and texted Alvin asking him directions how to get to his place.
The first few months of our relationship was fine. Though I continued to see Justin, it never was an issue between us not until one day when Justin and I went to spend a weekend in Baguio. I don’t understand what came up to him; he tried calling me every now and then while I was in Baguio. I dropped all his calls and did not answer his text messages. So when I got back to Manila, he was so mad he walked out on me while having dinner while we were talking what happened during that weekend. It was too late when I realized how inconsiderate I was to treat him the way I treated him taking him out of my life while I was in Baguio.
The following weekend, while we were both high on drugs (I’ll write more about this next time), he asked our friend Keith to come home and spend the night with us. While driving home I was aware of the possibilities that may happen, dragging along Keith with us. It was not spoken, but inside all of us, we know what is to come. So when we reached Alvin’s place, we lay on the floor as we savor the euphoria of ecstasy. We started kissing and rubbing each other’s body. But every now and then, bits and pieces of sensibilities would creep into my mind. Maybe the drug is starting to lose its effect. Until I saw Alvin savoring the manhood of Keith in his mouth, that’s when I lost it. Alvin saw my reaction; he went straight to me and started sucking me. But my mind kept telling me, “You can’t do this” until my mouth opened and said it to them, “I can’t do this!” I saw the reaction on their face. It was a mix of shock and disappointment. They tried to caress me, maybe hoping to turn me on, but I stood up and went straight to bed. Alvin followed me to talk me into it, but I said no. Then Keith decided to leave us and went home. The moment I heard the door closed, I stood up and took off all my clothes. I saw the surprised look on his face. I undressed and lay him on his back and fucked him like I never fucked him before. It has hard and deep while uttering the words, “This is what you want right?” “Yes, fuck me hard”, he said. It’s one fucking experience I will never forget in my life for it was to be the last between me and Alvin. After we were done, I stood up and took my clothes. I was silent. Until I heard him said “You felt jealous when you saw me sucking Keith right?” I remained quiet. “Now you know how I feel every time I know you’re with Justin”, he continued. I felt my head was about to explode when I heard those words. I wanted to curse him for throwing such shit on my face for I was not the one who asked for the relationship. But all I could say in response was, “I’m sorry”. I looked him in the eye and we know without even saying any words, it was the end of the line for us. I walked out of the door, with a lot of questions on my mind but never bothered to find the answers till this very minute.
I saw him again a month after our break up. He was with this guy he’s dating. To this day, we remain good friends. And as for me, I was back in my old self again, in a very complicated relationship with Justin but not until I met Jerico.
POST MORTEM ANALYSIS
It was after a while when I realized that my relationship with Alvin is doomed from the moment it even started. As they say, you can never serve two masters at the same time. Alvin was stupid to allow himself to be in such a relationship knowing the other person is also in love with someone else. And I was damn too selfish at wanting to have everything in my hands. In the end, none of us gained anything but only scars and lessons to be learned.
to be continued.... Love Confession: Jerico
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Product Shoot
Saturday, September 3, 2011
August 2011
#1
I celebrated my 35th birthday last August 5. Yes, you read it right; I just turned 35 years old. LOL! While most people are very discreet with their age, for me, it’s really no biggie! I guess because I am quite satisfied where I am now at this point in my life. I have a good paying job and a lot of opportunities continue to my way. Just recently, I had a job interview with Aboitiz to work for their power plant located in Tiwi, Albay. I am half-hearted on this one since the location is really quite far; far from my friends and most of all from my family. But let’s see once I receive their job offer. Anyway, to celebrate my birthday, my friends threw a party for me in Antipolo. They prepared everything. Surf and turf menu; shrimps, steak, salad, sausages, yummy! It was really so sweet of them. I had so much fun.
#2
My boyfriend and bestfriend have finally made up. It was hard dividing your time between people you both love. Life is easy once again.
#3
I finally told my bestfriend my problems with his dad. How his dad managed (or the lack thereof) our project and how he used up our funds. It was emotional for him. I can breathe better now.
#4
We’re cooking something really big and I mean really big. We are all keepings our finger crossed.
#5
I’m back studying. I’m taking a diploma course in Ateneo Business School and my class started just last week.
#6
I completed a small project for a friend who was commissioned to do a brochure for this home décor specialty store. My friend hired me to be the photographer. We’ll it’s been awhile since the last time took hold of my camera so I was quite eager to take on the job. However, while shooting, it bored me to death since it’s a product shoot. No models, nothing but baskets, pillows, chairs, etc. No brainer really! Anyway, the client liked my work. I earned enough to buy me a new lens! Cool huh?
#7
Finally, I renewed my passport. I was suffering from a really bad hang over I could still smell alcohol in my breath when I went to DFA to renew my passport. The end product? The ugliest picture of myself ever taken in my life! And I have to bear with it for the next 5 years!! Argh!!
Anyway, it’s nice to be back here. Lots of back reading to do especially from some interesting bloggers I follow here. Ciao!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Amy Oh Amy!
Amy, thank you for the wonderful music. Your pain is over now. Sleep tight my love.
Valerie
Love is a Losing Game
Tears Dry On Their Own
Friday, July 15, 2011
Hanging On
I don’t even know how to start this. I don’t usually complain. Most of the time, I keep quite. People who know me give me credit for the kind of patience that I have. Yes, I am a patient man; to people, to situations, to everything. But a man can only take so much. There are times you just can’t contain all your frustrations as such I am here taking refuge in this blog. What I can’t speak, I hope I can write here, without inhibitions and without being cautious of how people around me would feel.
My dad left for New York just a few weeks ago. Our family owns a 15 door apartment and that’s what kept dad busy after he retired 10 years ago. When he left for the US, he endorsed it to my younger sister as well as taking care of the household. I don’t live with them anymore. I’ve been independent since 2003. I officially moved out 3 years ago from our house in Malabon when I bought my own house in Pasig. I still visit them though as often as I could just to check on them. Few days ago, my sister called and told me none of the tenants would want to pay their rent. And I also learned from her that most of them in fact have their payments delayed for 3 to 7 months already! To make situations worse, the bills at home are already due including the salary of the maids. Without any collection, my sister wouldn’t be able to pay them not to mention their grocery and food allowance. Since my dad is away, I am forced to deal with this situation. This morning, I instructed my sister to go to Barangay and file a complaint and demand the tenants to pay what they owe us and to vacate their houses. I have decided to close down the apartment. It’s due for a major renovation anyway. It’s in a very bad shape and I myself wouldn’t consider living in it. So starting next week, for 3 consecutive Fridays, I would have to take a leave from work just to attend the hearings. I am not expecting they would easily give in to my demands. I do not expect any settlements at all will be made. All I really want from the Barangay is just a clearance coz I’m already ready to file ejectment case in court against them. I will make them eat their words “Kung mga magulang nyo nga di kami mapaalis kayo pa kayang mga anak lang!” Well, let’s see about that.
Just 3 months ago, I awarded a project to my bestfriend’s dad. They were financially struggling so to help them out in their predicament, I gave them 3 million worth of project. I had to go through so much just to ensure that such project be awarded to them. The project involves renovation of our company’s lobby and conference room. We started ok. Everything was in order, the manpower, the materials and the equipment. However, by the middle of the project, they experienced shortage in fund. So to help them out and not to compromise the project, I loaned them PhP400,000. It went smooth again after that. But with just 10% remaining before completion, they encountered again some funding issues. For two weeks they stopped working. My boss then came to my office and asked me how come nothing is happening and when will the project be finally completed? Actually, we are already 1 month behind schedule. To pacify him I did my best just to make him believe I am on top of things and whatever is happening (or the lack thereof) at that moment, I am fully aware of it and that they are part of the plan and are to be expected. Actually during those two weeks, they were waiting for their collection of the partial billing they made to our company. And so finally last week it was released. I thought I could finally breathe again. But, no! Instead of using all those collections to fund for the completion of this project, my bestfriend’s dad decided to use partial amount of that money for his own use. Ok, I know they needed the money, but come on! My ass is on the line here!! Have I not done enough for them for at least for just one moment they would also think about me and my situation? All I expected from them is a little consideration. My boss is pressuring me that come this Monday, the lobby and the conference room are already available for use. We are almost there. The carpet tiles will be installed tomorrow however few more items still need to be bought like the LED TV for the lobby and some furniture. So when I asked him about it this morning, he told me, all money was used already. DAMN! I’m sure when our lobby opens on Monday, the one thing my boss would ask me, “Where the fuck is the TV??” I wish I still have enough money in my bank to pay for it just so I could cover up their shortcomings. But I have also exhausted already my savings! I already loaned them money and just few months ago I recently bought a house here in Laguna and paid 20% of that amount in cash (which by the way is also giving me some headache right now. They weren’t able to deliver the unit based on the agreed turn over date. Damn Avida!) Plus the situation with my sister who also needs some money at home. Having said all that, my finances is not in good shape right now. 500 pesos or even 100 pesos has more value to me now than it used too. Everything appears to me as expensive right now. That’s how bad things are to me at this point.
Frankly speaking, I am kinda worried right now. But there’s a part of me telling me everything’s gonna be fine. I’ve be through so many shits in life. Much more complicated and difficult with what I’m facing right now. That’s why I remain positive and hopeful. I know this will just be temporary. In a month’s time, everything will be back to normal, hopefully. But till then, I have to remain strong.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Work It!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
The Prediction
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Light of a Million Mornings
Light of a Million Mornings
Perfomed by Adventist University of the Philippines (AUP) Ambassadors
I couldn't see the sunshine through the shadows.
I could seem to find the soul to care.
And in the darkest hour,
You touched me with your power
and when I looked your light is everywhere.
Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
The light of a million mornings start in me
I never tried to understand the sunrise.
I only know it takes away the dark.
I can't explain your healing or all the joy I'm feeling.
I only know you've come into my heart.
Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
The light of a million mornings start in me.
Bridge:
And now that your glory has come shining through.
Let my life be a candle, Lord,
That shines for you,
shines for you,
shines for you.
Refrain:
The light of a million mornings filled my heart.
The sound of a million angels sung my song.
The warmth of a love so tender
Touched my life and suddenly
O the light of a million mornings, O the light of a million mornings,
Has start
The light of a million mornings
Has start in me
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Why I Am Againts the Divorce Bill (HB1799)
Currently, the Family Code only allows declaration of nullity, annulment and legal separation as an option for married couple who can no longer live together. Let us first understand how declaration of nullity, annulment, legal separation and divorce differ from one another.
Declaration of Nullity
Annulment
Legal Separation
Divorce (As proposed under HB 1799)
Divorce is the dissolution of a valid marriage. It differs from annulment since it allows issues that may arise during the marriage as grounds to have the marriage terminated. A petition for divorce may be filed based on the following grounds.
(1) The petitioner has been separated de facto (in fact) from his or her spouse for at least five years at the time of the filing of the petition and reconciliation is highly improbable,
(2) The petitioner has been legally separated from his or her spouse for at least two years at the time of the filing of the petition and reconciliation is highly improbable;
(3) When any of the grounds for legal separation that has caused the irreparable breakdown of the marriage.
(4) When one or both spouses are psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations; and
(5) When the spouses suffer from irreconcilable differences that have caused the irreparable breakdown of the marriage;
Among those presented above, only those who were legally separated are not allowed to remarry since union between the couple is still considered valid under the law. As it is right now, there are legal remedies that a couple may take should they agree it would be difficult for them to continue on with their marriage as such parting of ways is the only remedy. So the question is, why add divorce? The proponents presented their arguments on the Explanatory Note section of the proposed bill and are presented as follows:
“Reality tells us that there are many failed, unhappy marriages across all Filipino classes. Many couples especially from the marginalized sectors, who have no access to the courts, simply end up separating without the benefit of legal processes.”
“Even when couples start out well in their marriage, political, economic and social realities take their toll on their relationship. Some are not prepared to handle the intricacies of married life.”
This statement takes away from us being responsible to decisions we make. We all make mistakes but we have to learn from it and live with it. What if after having two kids I suddenly realized I am not prepared to handle parenthood? Can I just abandon my children and my role as a parent like what they are saying in a divorce, my role as a husband? We need to own up the consequences of our actions. Providing a back door exit to marriage may even worsen this situation. Couple who should think a lot of times before getting married may need only to think once since an easy way out is always available. If a couple is not prepared to get married, then they should not marry. Period. As such, it is the responsibility of the state and the parents to ensure that before any couple enters the sanctity of marriage, they are indeed prepared for it, physically, mentally and financially. Aggressive and effective pre-marriage counseling/screening should be accorded to the couple. Divorce is not the solution to the inefficiency of the parents and the state to do its duty.
“For a large number of women, the inequalities and violence in marriage negate its ideals as the embodiment of love, care and safety and erode the bases upon which a marriage is founded. The marital relations facilitate the commission of violence and perpetuate their oppression. The 2003 report of the Philippine National Police shows that wife battering accounted for 53.6 percent of the total 8,011 cases of violence against women. About three of ten perpetrators were husbands of the victims. Husbands accounted for 28 per cent of the violence against women crimes. The Department of Social Welfare and Development reported that in 2003, of the 15,314 women in especially difficult circumstances that the agency serviced, 25.1 per cent or 5,353 were cases of physical abuse, maltreatment and battering.”
Divorce cannot and will not prevent inequalities and violence in any marriage. With or without divorce, domestic violence will still exist. However, there is already an existing law that shall protect women from such inequalities and abuse as contained in the Republic Act 9710 also known as the Magna Carta for Women which was signed in 2009. What is required from the government is to have all women educated on their rights and how to protect themselves as provided by such law. If any form of violence should exist in the household, married women should know how to file cases as provided by the RA 9710 and consequently, if necessary, file for Legal Separation. I would like to stress my point, given this argument by the proponents of this bill, there exists already legal remedies to this issue.
“The present laws relating to separation of couples and termination of marriage are inadequate to respond to the myriad causes of failed marriages. Particularly, the remedies of declaration of nullity and annulment do not cover the problems that occur during the existence of marriage. Legal separation, on the other hand, while covering problems during marriage, does not put an end to marriage.”
They why don’t we get to the root of the problem? What causes marriage to fail? Have we done enough to understand this and provide solution to this issue? Separation and termination of marriage does not and will not address the causes of failed marriages, same goes with divorce. Fact of the matter is, divorce will even make marriages prone to breakdown since it provides an easy way out, a simple alternative, than to deal with the intricacies of solving marital problems and challenges.
“In practice, Article 36 has become a form of divorce, as valid marriages are declared void every day in the guise of “psychological incapacity.” The innumerable Article 36 cases brought to trial courts is an indication of the elasticity of Article 36 to accommodate the needs of many couples desiring to terminate their marriages. It is proof that divorce is needed in the Philippines. Article 36 provides a remedy only for spouses who can prove “psychological incapacity”. The concept certainly cannot accommodate all cases where divorce would have necessary. What we need is a divorce law that defines clearly and unequivocally the grounds and terms for terminating a marriage. That law will put an end to the creative efforts played daily in courtrooms across the country to accommodate a wide range of cases in order to prove “psychological incapacity.” (Women’s Legal Bureau, Inc., The Relevance of Divorce in the Philippines, 1998)”
I agree that such provision on the Family Code is abused my many to get out of marriage. It is as a matter of fact a milking cow by lawyers and by some corrupt judges. This practice must be put to stop and divorce is not the solution to it. To remedy this situation, I propose that once a petition for annulment has been granted, the one who admitted and proven in court as psychological incapacitated should not be allowed to remarry. Only the complainant should be allowed to do so. Let’s see if any of the couple would agree to admit they are the one with the problem. I think it’s stupid to allow anyone who is “proven” to be psychologically incapacitated to remarry when you know that such condition would only make that person’s second marriage void as stipulated in Article 36 and 45 of the Family Code.
“The bill seeks to introduce divorce in Philippine law with a strong sense of confidence that it will be used responsibly by Filipino couples. This confidence stems from the experiences of Filipino families that show that separation is usually the last resort of many Filipino couples whose marriage has failed. Cases of battered women also support this. Battered women invariably seek separation only after many years of trying to make the marriage work; separation only becomes imperative for them when they realize that it is necessary for their and their children’s survival. Divorce could actually provide protection to battered women and their children from further violence and abuse.”
This is an admission of fact that indeed divorce will never prevent domestic violence. They said that because Filipino women are very devoted to their marriage many would endure violence, and that fact alone should allay fears of many Filipinos that divorce will be abused by many couples. So what is the point of this statement? Divorce can only end the abuse but not prevent it, so as the legal separation as provided by the Family Code. An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Domestic violence should be addressed even before it is happens and not just provide a solution after crime has been committed.
“With the predominance of the Catholic faith in the Philippines, the fear that divorce will erode personal values on marriage appears unfounded. The experience of Italy, where the Vatican is located, and Spain, two predominantly Catholic countries which practice divorce, supports this. Those countries have a low rate of divorce. Italy registers a 7% rate while Spain registers 15%. The figures reflect the strong influence of religious beliefs and culture on individuals in deciding to terminate marital relations.”
The figures are outright misleading. The proponents should have done their assignments well before again throwing these numbers. Currently in Italy, their government has recognized that there is a crisis in their marriage system. More and more Italians opt not to get married as such more than 80% of their men still stay home with their mothers until well into their thirties. In Spain, most couples opt to live in together, also known as “cohabitation”, than get married. As such in both countries, there has been a decrease in the number of “first time” marriages. Divorce paved the way for a new family structure which includes cohabitation, extramarital births, single parenthood, and one-person households. Is this the kind of family structure we would want for ourselves? The low rate registered by both countries does not at all reflect the strong influence of their religious belief but a cultural shift on how they look at marriage. True enough, why marry if it will end in divorce anyway?
One interesting aspect that we also need to look at is the mean age of people getting married in all three countries. Both in Spain and Italy, average age for men and women at first marriage is early thirties and late twenties respectively. And the Philippines? 25 for men and 19 for women! Given this disparity, this maybe explains why there are many failed marriages in the Philippines. So it’s pointless to compare the experience of Spain and Italy and assume that Philippines will also post a low number of divorce rate. This is like comparing apples with oranges. As they pointed out earlier in their argument, many Filipino married couple after few years into their marriage would realize they are not prepared to married life. Well, simply because they are too young and not mature enough to handle the challenges of a married life. This is common in the marginalized sectors as well as in the rural areas. As such this is where we should focus our attention, to ensure that couples who would want to get married are mature enough for such undertaking. Proper education is what’s needed.
“Historically, divorce had been part of our legal system. In the beginning of the 16th century, before the Spanish colonial rule, absolute divorce was widely practiced among ancestral tribes such as the Tagbanwas of Palawan, the Gadangs of Nueva Viscaya, the Sagadans and Igorots of the Cordilleras, and the Monobos, Bila-ans and Moslems of the Visayas and Mindanao islands.”
This may be true. Those were also the days when a captured enemy is beheaded and displayed as a trophy. Do you think such practice can also still apply to us, in our time? When the Spanish came, along with it the Christian faith, our religious beliefs and morals changed the norms of our society.
And those were the years we were occupied by the American and Japanese as such, if not all, most of their laws were applied to the Filipinos. And when in 1950, four years after we gained our full independence from the Americans, our fathers then brought back high morals standards in our society and as a consequence, divorce bill was repealed.
“This bill is respectful of and sensitive to differing religious beliefs in the Philippines. It recognizes that the plurality of religious beliefs and cultural sensibilities in the Philippines demand that different remedies for failed marriages should be made available. For this reason, the bill retains the existing remedies of legal separation, declaration of nullity of the marriage and annulment and only adds divorce as one more remedy. Couples may choose from these remedies depending on their situation, religious beliefs, cultural sensibilities, needs and emotional state."
There are indeed different denominations in our country, but majority are still considered as Christians. And it is a fact that divorce goes against Christian doctrines. So how can this be respectful and sensitive to their religious beliefs? This statement is totally wrong and irrelevant. Why don’t we legalize drugs as well and let our countrymen choose whether they want it or not “depending on their situation, cultural sensibilities, need and emotional state.” The danger with implementing something which you know is against someone’s moral belief is like dangling the forbidden fruit in their face.
"This bill also seeks to make Philippine law consistent in the way it treats religious beliefs with respect to termination of marriage. Philippine law through the Code of Muslim Personal Laws of the Philippines (Presidential Decree No. 1083 [1977]) allows divorce among Filipino Muslims, in deference to the Islamic faith which recognizes divorce. Non-Muslim Filipinos should have the same option under Philippine law, in accordance with their religious beliefs."
What??! Should we allow then every man in this country to have as many wives as he can keep? I cannot see any sense why they even mention this statement as an argument. The fact is, majority of those Non-Muslim are Catholics and we all know that the Catholic Church is vocal on its stand that it does not want it! So how can this be in accordance to the Non-Muslim Filipinos religious belief?
“The Philippines and Malta are the only two remaining countries in the world without a divorce law. This bill is being introduced based on indications that Philippine society is ready for the legalization of divorce.”
Just recently, Malta, through a consultative referendum allowed the legalization of divorce. As such, the Philippines is the only country left where divorce is not allowed. So what? Frankly speaking, that’s hardly an argument at all to push for the legalization of divorce in our country. Not because everyone is in it, we should jump on the bandwagon as well. Filipinos are Filipinos. We are not Maltese. We do not live and think like the rest of the world and vice versa. Our culture is different from the rest of the world so I find this argument really lame.
Sanctity of marriage is not based on the quality of marital relationship either. When you talk about sanctity of marriage, there is a religious implication attached to it. Sanctity is defined as holiness or sacredness. The term Sanctity of Marriage stems from the belief that it is a union derived from God as such, gains its state of holiness. It is not a unit of measurement in terms of quantity or quality, but merely states the inherent nature and character of such union, that is of being sacred or holy.
The proponents of the bill could have done a better job in justifying their position to push for the legalization of divorce. It’s funny because I’ve read more convincing arguments for divorce from other bloggers and news columnists. After I have refuted their arguments, now let me present my case why I stand against this bill.
First, I believe divorce is anti-women. As we all know, most women in this country particularly those from the marginalized sector and those from the provinces are very submissive to their husbands. It is sadly, part of our culture. They devote and dedicate their lives to the care and need of their husbands and children even to the point of neglecting their ownselves. In a patriarchal society such as ours, women are relegated to depend on the mercy of their husbands, should stay home, and tend to the needs of the household. And then after years of her devotion to her marriage, the husband suddenly decides to divorce her, what becomes of her? Wives who know nothing but serve their husbands? And then the husband decides to take another wife and after few years decides to divorce her too? How many women should suffer this fate? We all know the philandering nature of Filipino men. Divorce will give him the power to play around with women, change from one relationship to another as quickly as he changes his clothes. And how about the children born out of those marriages? What happens to them? Not every Filipina is as empowered as the proponents of the bill from Gabriela. Not every Filipina is aware of their basic rights. Not every Filipina had access to education to be able to empower them. And this is the basic issue that needs to be addressed first.
Second, it is unconstitutional. Our constitution recognizes the importance of family as such it further commits itself to protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social institution. Can divorce be consistent to this basic commitment of the State? I think not, therefore to be able to allow divorce, the constitution would need to be amended first.
Lastly, it demeans the value and sanctity of marriage. Marriage is a lifetime partnership and the foundation of our society. It’s like when you build a house, if the foundation is weak, what happens to it? Divorce threatens this foundation as such can lead to the erosion of our society. With divorce, marriage is treated merely as a contract between two people with termination clause written all over it. It weakens the bond between couple. It lessens the threshold of a couple to bear the hardships of any normal married couple face. It makes any marriage volatile as such prone to dissolution.
Discussion on moral issue is a hard one to take so I would not want to go that path. But I leave you with this conversation I had with a friend few days ago.
Friend: How do feel about divorce?
Me: I’m actually against it.
Friend: Then how do you feel about couples separating but can’t go through the process of annulment, yet still, being as human as they are, eventually find new partners they could spend the rest of their lives with? Don’t you think it’s unfair that they can’t seal that partnership and worse, are being judged by the society as immoral merely because they are still technically married and can’t afford annulment?
Me: And you think divorce can change all that?
Friend: Yes. With divorce, their single status is reinstated and people will not think anymore it’s immoral for them to live with their new partners.
Me: In the eyes of men, probably yes, but how about in the eyes of God?
One of the challenges we face in our time is that everything around us changes so fast. We continue to create things to make life easier and convenient for all us. How far can we allow ourselves to make decisions merely based on practicality and convenience? Is morality a thing of the past? Does the law of man dictates what is moral and what is not? Ponder.
_________________________________
For Eveyone’s Information (Source: The Family Code of the Philippines)
Declaration of Nullity
In essence, declaration of nullity is different from annulment. Declaration of nullity considers that the marriage is void and invalid from the very beginning. Conditions for declaration of nullity are provided in Articles 35-37 of the Family Code.
(1) Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians;
(2) Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so;
(3) Those solemnized without license;
(4) Those bigamous or polygamous marriages
(5) Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other; and
(6) Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53 as shown below.
a. Either of the former spouses may marry again after compliance with the requirements of the immediately preceding Article; otherwise, the subsequent marriage shall be null and void
(7) A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization.
(8) Marriages between the following are incestuous and void from the beginning, whether relationship between the parties be legitimate or illegitimate:
Annulment
Annulment is a declaration that a marriage is valid but voidable if during at the time of marriage, exist the following conditions as provided in Article 45 of the Family Code.
(1) That the party in whose behalf it is sought to have the marriage annulled was eighteen years of age or over but below twenty-one, and the marriage was solemnized without the consent of the parents, guardian or person having substitute parental authority over the party, in that order, unless after attaining the age of twenty-one, such party freely cohabited with the other and both lived together as husband and wife;
(2) That either party was of unsound mind, unless such party after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;
(3) That the consent of either party was obtained by fraud (Enumerated below as provided by Article 46 of the Family Code), unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;
• Non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the other party of a crime involving moral turpitude;
• Concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of the marriage, she was pregnant by a man other than her husband;
• Concealment of sexually transmissible disease, regardless of its nature, existing at the time of the marriage; or
• Concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism or homosexuality or lesbianism existing at the time of the marriage.
(4) That the consent of either party was obtained by force, intimidation or undue influence, unless the same having disappeared or ceased, such party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife;
(5) That either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable; or
(6) That either party was afflicted with a sexually-transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable.
(7) A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization.
Legal Separation
Legal separation allows a couple to be physically apart but still is considered as legally married. It may be filed based on the following conditions as provided by in Article 55 of the Family Code.
(1) Repeated physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner;
(2) Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner to change religious or political affiliation;
(3) Attempt of respondent to corrupt or induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement;
(4) Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six years, even if pardoned;
(5) Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent;
(6) Lesbianism or homosexuality of the respondent;
(7) Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the Philippines or abroad;
(8) Sexual infidelity or perversion;
(9) Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner; or
(10) Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one year.
Monday, May 30, 2011
The Reproductive Health Bill (House Bill 4244)
Be Fruitful and Multiply (Genesis 1:28)
That’s the main contention of the Catholic Church. If that’s their main argument to oppose the RH bill therefore it’s absolute that all forms of birth control should not be acceptable. Then how come they promote what they call the “natural” method? Isn’t the purpose of the so called “natural” method is also for birth control? On this note, I think they are contradicting themselves. Granting their use of the biblical verse is correct, isn’t one or two, enough to fulfill such instruction from God? The RH bill does not prohibit anyone to have kids but merely encourages a couple to have two children as an ideal family size. It’s not even mandatory or compulsory and no punitive actions will be imposed to anyone should a couple decide to have more than what is recommended. As such, I see no basis why this biblical verse should be used to argue against the RH bill.
Birth Control Methods
Contraception
Examples of artificial methods are use of condoms, diaphragms, and contraceptive pills (progestogen only pill). Sterilization methods such as vasectomy and tubal ligation are also considered under the artificial method. For the natural method, the church promotes lactational method (determining the length of a woman's period of breastfeeding infertility), withdrawal, and total abstinence. Either through natural or artificial method, both have the same purpose, to prevent the union of the sperm and the egg cell as such, I don’t see any difference between either methods. So for me, either method is acceptable.
Examples of contragestions are oral contraceptives (Combined Estrogen and Progestogen), hormonal injectibles and Intra-Uterine Devices (IUDs). Through this method, it is said that it prevents the implantation of the zygote (product of the fusion of the sperm and egg cell) to the uterus and thus is expelled, as such, considered by the pro-RH advocates as abortificient.
Abortificient
Abortificient is defined as drugs or substances that causes pregnancy to end prematurely and causes an abortion. However, it is only during at which the zygote attached itself to the wall of the uterus the process of pregnancy begins. Therefore, if this process will not happen by preventing the zygote to attach to the uterus, the process of pregnancy will not occur, ergo, there is no abortion. How can you end something which has not even started yet? However, conservatives might still argue, and what of that zygote? They adhere to the belief that human life begins at that moment when the union of sperm and egg cell occurs (conception). Do we consider zygote as a human being? Where does the human life exactly begin?
Beginning of Human Life
First, I do not agree that human life is created during conception. The exact moment at which the sperm and egg cell unite is just part of a process to create life. It is not a definite or distinct point in time when we can say human life is created. This zygote would still have to undergo various stages of physical and chemical processes before the “process of creation” is said to be completed. I personally believe that life begins when pregnancy begins, when the process of fertilization is complete and the zygote finally attaches itself to the uterus. However, the conservatives insist that zygote should be protected still for its potential to form human being. Well, my sperm has the potential to form human being too right? Should it be protected too? I am sure they would further argue that my sperm would need the egg cell to complete the process. Well, just as equally important that the zygote must attach itself to the uterus, till then, they are nothing but a group or mass of human cells.
To sum up my points with regard to acceptability of artificial birth control methods, both contraception and contragestion in a moral context (or should I say, my moral judgment), I see no reason why I should object to it. However, there may be legal impediments as to the applicability of contragestion, which is unfortunate, and may be considered unconstitutional for it was explicitly stated in the 1987 Constitution that the State “should equally protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.” I therefore say, that this provision of the constitution should be amended.
Sex Education to Grade Five to High School Students
The Catholic Church strongly opposes this provision in the RH Bill for they believe that it would allow parents to abdicate their primary role of educating their children especially in the area of life sexuality which as they say is the sacred gift from God. Personally I grew up not learning about sex and sexuality from my parents. In a conservative society such as ours, sex is not a common topic in any household. Whether the parents are embarrassed to open up such topic to their children or they do not want to embarrass their kids. I do agree that the primary responsibility of educating children about sex should be on the parents but are these parents well informed and educated themselves to pass on to their children their knowledge on this sensitive topic? The rise in cases of teen-age pregnancy is an indication where the church and the parents failed miserably. Have they done enough to educate it’s their children on pre-marital sex? Seems not, now let the State do its job. In our time when Maria Clara is now Mary Claire, with or without sex education, many children will continue to engage in pre-marital sex. At least with enough education on sex and sexuality these children would know how to protect themselves. RH Bill does not take away from their parents even from the church the responsibility to teach these children about sexuality. It is still their responsibility to teach them, at least the moral context of sex and sexuality. However, I believe that sex education should be taught only to high school students. Are cases of pre-teens pregnancy (11 to 12 years) that significant to include the grade five and six students as well? I think not. Now this is where I think the RH Bill should reconsider.
Over Population and Poverty Alleviation
RH bills aims to address the alarming population growth rate in the country which can indirectly help address poverty. Again, let me stress the word “indirectly” for there in no one solution that can eradicate poverty. Addressing overpopulation is only but one of them. Each country has its own resources. Resources it can use to provide nourishment to its people. But more often than not, these resources are limited. Don’t you find it alarming that we are now importing rice and sugar from other countries just so to meet our demand? It is indeed alarming for we are not generating enough food supply to feed our people as such importation becomes inevitable considering the fact that we are an agricultural country. There are just too many mouths to feed. Many would continue to argue that people is the best resources of a nation. I wouldn’t disagree, but how many is enough and too much? Let say for example a family of 10. The father earns enough to feed only 4 children. Then what happens to the other 4? What kind of human resources do we end up with? A population of undernourished people? Will that benefit a nation? I think not. We have time and again recognized that our country is facing a serious issue on population growth but have never taken concrete actions to address such issue. The Philippines currently sits as the 12 most populated country in the world and continues to be on a sharp increasing trend. With limited and dwindling resources, how can we ensure there would still be left for generations to come, resources which are vital to their existence? We must take actions now!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Photography and Me
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Caught in the Middle
Gone were the days when I have to ask for your approval and your acceptance of my partner. Everyone who is new in a relationship has to go through with it. When you find someone you love and who loves you back, that doesn’t end there for we do not live on our own, as such it is important that people close to us would accept and love him as well. And you did, and for that I thank you. But that phase in our relationship has already come to pass. After all these years, I believe that you and him have already developed a relationship between the two of you and that, being, as good friends. A relationship I acknowledge, respect and thankful for. But now you guys are having problems, well this is all I have to say to it, it’s your relationship, so you guys deal with it. I am standing on a neutral ground. I will not speak to you, either, against or to defend him. Neither will I do the same to you in front of him. For I am afraid if I do that, one or both of you might pass judgment on me as being biased as I am close to you both. I would not want to take any sides, for if I do that I would end up hurting either of you. You both mean so much to me. And it would cause me pain if because of my words and actions one of you gets hurt. Yes, I am caught in the middle but I’m leaving everything up to you both. This time, do not think of me. Never let your thoughts of me cloud your judgment. Do what you think and feel is right. I know how difficult this is for you for I know how important I am to you. But let me assure you, I will never let anything affect our friendship, especially not this. And that is why I am saying this to you now. Whatever comes out of this situation, I shall never pass judgment on you. I shall be, and will always be here for you as you have always been there for me.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Depressed
This morning while browsing the net I came across this news which shocked me.
abs-cbnNEWS.com
Posted at 05/21/2011 7:22 AM Updated as of 05/21/2011 9:20 AM
MANILA, Philippines - A Filipino doctor taking part in a medical mission in Sierra Leone died after suffering from illness, feared to be malaria. Dr. Emmanuel Ganal died in Sierra Leone, according to his relatives. Gana's relatives in Ilocos said he became ill during a medical mission.
They said they received a call from his colleagues last May 12, informing them Ganal was confined in a hospital there. The next day, at around 2 a.m. local time, they received another call, saying he died after becoming ill.
Ciriaca Melchor, Ganal's grandmother, said she is having a hard time accepting his grandson's death. Ganal's body will be brought to the Philippines this week. His remains will first be brought to the University of Santo Tomas, where he studied medicine, after which he will be brought to Laoag City.
Other family members will coming home from Hawaii to join the family in mourning. -- With a report from Hadji Rieta, ABS-CBN News Laoag