The Reproductive Health Bill (House Bill 4244)

Many have already been written and said about the proposed Reproductive Health Bill. For awhile I kept my mouth shut because I don’t want to be yacking on something I have limited knowledge of. I would not want to base my opinion merely from what I hear. I needed something concrete. I needed to see the copy of the said proposed RH bill and understand the provisions contained therein as well as do a little reading on my own before I can form an opinion on this important issue which is causing a stir in our country.

Be Fruitful and Multiply (Genesis 1:28)

That’s the main contention of the Catholic Church. If that’s their main argument to oppose the RH bill therefore it’s absolute that all forms of birth control should not be acceptable. Then how come they promote what they call the “natural” method? Isn’t the purpose of the so called “natural” method is also for birth control? On this note, I think they are contradicting themselves. Granting their use of the biblical verse is correct, isn’t one or two, enough to fulfill such instruction from God? The RH bill does not prohibit anyone to have kids but merely encourages a couple to have two children as an ideal family size. It’s not even mandatory or compulsory and no punitive actions will be imposed to anyone should a couple decide to have more than what is recommended. As such, I see no basis why this biblical verse should be used to argue against the RH bill.

Birth Control Methods

There are several methods available for birth control; contraception (preventing the meeting of the sperm and egg cell to form the zygote), contragestion (preventing the implantation of blastocyst or zygote to the uterus) and abortion (the removal of the fetus or embryo from the uterus). The proposed RH bill continues to recognize that abortion is illegal and punishable under the law so abortion is out of our discussion.

Contraception

Examples of artificial methods are use of condoms, diaphragms, and contraceptive pills (progestogen only pill). Sterilization methods such as vasectomy and tubal ligation are also considered under the artificial method. For the natural method, the church promotes lactational method (determining the length of a woman's period of breastfeeding infertility), withdrawal, and total abstinence. Either through natural or artificial method, both have the same purpose, to prevent the union of the sperm and the egg cell as such, I don’t see any difference between either methods. So for me, either method is acceptable.

Contragestions

Examples of contragestions are oral contraceptives (Combined Estrogen and Progestogen), hormonal injectibles and Intra-Uterine Devices (IUDs). Through this method, it is said that it prevents the implantation of the zygote (product of the fusion of the sperm and egg cell) to the uterus and thus is expelled, as such, considered by the pro-RH advocates as abortificient.

Abortificient

Abortificient is defined as drugs or substances that causes pregnancy to end prematurely and causes an abortion. However, it is only during at which the zygote attached itself to the wall of the uterus the process of pregnancy begins. Therefore, if this process will not happen by preventing the zygote to attach to the uterus, the process of pregnancy will not occur, ergo, there is no abortion. How can you end something which has not even started yet? However, conservatives might still argue, and what of that zygote? They adhere to the belief that human life begins at that moment when the union of sperm and egg cell occurs (conception). Do we consider zygote as a human being? Where does the human life exactly begin?

Beginning of Human Life

People will never come to an agreement where human life exactly begins. Never. For the answer to such question is drawn from each ones belief and values which are almost always different from one person to another. Conservatives strongly assert that human life begins during conception and believes that zygotes should be protected for they eventually form the human being.

First, I do not agree that human life is created during conception. The exact moment at which the sperm and egg cell unite is just part of a process to create life. It is not a definite or distinct point in time when we can say human life is created. This zygote would still have to undergo various stages of physical and chemical processes before the “process of creation” is said to be completed. I personally believe that life begins when pregnancy begins, when the process of fertilization is complete and the zygote finally attaches itself to the uterus. However, the conservatives insist that zygote should be protected still for its potential to form human being. Well, my sperm has the potential to form human being too right? Should it be protected too? I am sure they would further argue that my sperm would need the egg cell to complete the process. Well, just as equally important that the zygote must attach itself to the uterus, till then, they are nothing but a group or mass of human cells.

To sum up my points with regard to acceptability of artificial birth control methods, both contraception and contragestion in a moral context (or should I say, my moral judgment), I see no reason why I should object to it. However, there may be legal impediments as to the applicability of contragestion, which is unfortunate, and may be considered unconstitutional for it was explicitly stated in the 1987 Constitution that the State “should equally protect the life of the mother and the life of the unborn from conception.” I therefore say, that this provision of the constitution should be amended.

Sex Education to Grade Five to High School Students

The Catholic Church strongly opposes this provision in the RH Bill for they believe that it would allow parents to abdicate their primary role of educating their children especially in the area of life sexuality which as they say is the sacred gift from God. Personally I grew up not learning about sex and sexuality from my parents. In a conservative society such as ours, sex is not a common topic in any household. Whether the parents are embarrassed to open up such topic to their children or they do not want to embarrass their kids. I do agree that the primary responsibility of educating children about sex should be on the parents but are these parents well informed and educated themselves to pass on to their children their knowledge on this sensitive topic? The rise in cases of teen-age pregnancy is an indication where the church and the parents failed miserably. Have they done enough to educate it’s their children on pre-marital sex? Seems not, now let the State do its job. In our time when Maria Clara is now Mary Claire, with or without sex education, many children will continue to engage in pre-marital sex. At least with enough education on sex and sexuality these children would know how to protect themselves. RH Bill does not take away from their parents even from the church the responsibility to teach these children about sexuality. It is still their responsibility to teach them, at least the moral context of sex and sexuality. However, I believe that sex education should be taught only to high school students. Are cases of pre-teens pregnancy (11 to 12 years) that significant to include the grade five and six students as well? I think not. Now this is where I think the RH Bill should reconsider.

Over Population and Poverty Alleviation

RH bills aims to address the alarming population growth rate in the country which can indirectly help address poverty. Again, let me stress the word “indirectly” for there in no one solution that can eradicate poverty. Addressing overpopulation is only but one of them. Each country has its own resources. Resources it can use to provide nourishment to its people. But more often than not, these resources are limited. Don’t you find it alarming that we are now importing rice and sugar from other countries just so to meet our demand? It is indeed alarming for we are not generating enough food supply to feed our people as such importation becomes inevitable considering the fact that we are an agricultural country. There are just too many mouths to feed. Many would continue to argue that people is the best resources of a nation. I wouldn’t disagree, but how many is enough and too much? Let say for example a family of 10. The father earns enough to feed only 4 children. Then what happens to the other 4? What kind of human resources do we end up with? A population of undernourished people? Will that benefit a nation? I think not. We have time and again recognized that our country is facing a serious issue on population growth but have never taken concrete actions to address such issue. The Philippines currently sits as the 12 most populated country in the world and continues to be on a sharp increasing trend. With limited and dwindling resources, how can we ensure there would still be left for generations to come, resources which are vital to their existence? We must take actions now!

Photo credit: Reuters/Erik de Castro (http://hronlineph.wordpress.com/2011/05/15/isyung-hr-isyung-rh-ay-isyung-hr/supporters-of-reproductive-health-bill-chant-slogans-as-they-march-to-the-philippine-congress-during-international-womens-day-celebrations-in-quezon-city/

Photography and Me

I was once asked what Photography means to me? I replied, "Photography is a powerful medium that compels you to appreciate and see the beauty in everything around us; from a speck of dust to what our naked eyes normally see. It allows you to share a piece of yourself to others by giving them that opportunity to look at things the way you see them."

Eversince i was a little kid, i have always been in love with arts. i remember browsing the volumes of enclopedia at home just looking at the pictures of artworks from the great masters. at a very young age, i met picasso, da vinci, michaelangelo, van gogh among others. It inspired me to paint but it only caused me frustrations. I have the vision, yet my hands can’t translate such vision on canvass. I remember going home depressed from my art classes coz my works usually get low grades. Until one day, I just gave up and accepted the fact that painting is really not for me.

However, I was thankful though that my appreciation for the arts remained in me. I would still visit museum and exhibits and marvel at the paintings of juan luna, fernando amorsolo, felix hidalgo, among others (when i get filthy rich, i promise to buy one of those luna’s paintings. argh!!!). And in one of those visits, there it was, a collection of beautiful photographs. I remember being so excited jumping from one photograph to another. It sent chills to my body. And at the end of the last frame, it occured to me, I could still be an artist after all. It took years though before i was finally able to get a hold of a camera. At 17 years old when digital photography was not yet that popular, when your idea of photography is having your own darkroom and those big cameras, I thought photography is only for grown ups and those who have money.

The Old Lady of Ivana (Won in various online portait category contest)

It was through Justin that finally made me decide to take pictures. I was envious of the photographs he was taking. So I bought a camera and started taking my own pictures. I started with Point and Shoot and then a year after, with a DLSR. However, I think I pressured myself too much to come up with beautiful pictures that most of the time, I'd end up not satisfied and frustrated with what I would produce. Till I can't take the pressure anymore and decided to give it a break. And it's been 2 years now since then. I don't know when my muse will return to me. Anyway, shown here are some of my published work.

Infanticipation (My pregnant friend, Maan)The Boy Behind the Door CassandraThe Diva (My friend Charles. Post processing also done by me)Flaming Sky (Won First Place in a Photography Magazine Contest)SL 101 (Won in an online contest Still Life category)Stripes (Bought by PAL for their calendar)The Golden Gate

Caught in the Middle

Last night my bestfriend dropped by my house to talk to me about what happened last Saturday when he had a huge fight with my boyfriend. But before he could say anything, this is what I said to him:

Gone were the days when I have to ask for your approval and your acceptance of my partner. Everyone who is new in a relationship has to go through with it. When you find someone you love and who loves you back, that doesn’t end there for we do not live on our own, as such it is important that people close to us would accept and love him as well. And you did, and for that I thank you. But that phase in our relationship has already come to pass. After all these years, I believe that you and him have already developed a relationship between the two of you and that, being, as good friends. A relationship I acknowledge, respect and thankful for. But now you guys are having problems, well this is all I have to say to it, it’s your relationship, so you guys deal with it. I am standing on a neutral ground. I will not speak to you, either, against or to defend him. Neither will I do the same to you in front of him. For I am afraid if I do that, one or both of you might pass judgment on me as being biased as I am close to you both. I would not want to take any sides, for if I do that I would end up hurting either of you. You both mean so much to me. And it would cause me pain if because of my words and actions one of you gets hurt. Yes, I am caught in the middle but I’m leaving everything up to you both. This time, do not think of me. Never let your thoughts of me cloud your judgment. Do what you think and feel is right. I know how difficult this is for you for I know how important I am to you. But let me assure you, I will never let anything affect our friendship, especially not this. And that is why I am saying this to you now. Whatever comes out of this situation, I shall never pass judgment on you. I shall be, and will always be here for you as you have always been there for me.

We spent the night drinking a bottle of wine reminiscing our past. We also talked in lengths about our plans for our future. No words were spoken regarding what happened that night nor anything about my boyfriend. That night, it was just all about me and my bestfriend.

Depressed

That’s exactly how I am feeling right now. Last night, my bestfriend and my boyfriend had a huge fight. They uttered words that would be very hard to retract and I’m sure it will take awhile before things between them goes back to the way it used to be. Being in the middle of it is a difficult place to be. I hate being in this kind of situation. Now as I sit alone here in my room, not wanting to talk to either of them, it keeps me thinking should I do something or can I just isolate myself from it and let them deal with it on their own? I have a lot of things going on right now and I can’t take all this drama at this point. I hate dealing with this kind of issues. I hate people around me fighting.

This morning while browsing the net I came across this news which shocked me.

Malaria suspected in death of Pinoy doc in Sierra Leone
abs-cbnNEWS.com
Posted at 05/21/2011 7:22 AM Updated as of 05/21/2011 9:20 AM

MANILA, Philippines - A Filipino doctor taking part in a medical mission in Sierra Leone died after suffering from illness, feared to be malaria. Dr. Emmanuel Ganal died in Sierra Leone, according to his relatives. Gana's relatives in Ilocos said he became ill during a medical mission.

They said they received a call from his colleagues last May 12, informing them Ganal was confined in a hospital there. The next day, at around 2 a.m. local time, they received another call, saying he died after becoming ill.

Ciriaca Melchor, Ganal's grandmother, said she is having a hard time accepting his grandson's death. Ganal's body will be brought to the Philippines this week. His remains will first be brought to the University of Santo Tomas, where he studied medicine, after which he will be brought to Laoag City.

Other family members will coming home from Hawaii to join the family in mourning. -- With a report from Hadji Rieta, ABS-CBN News Laoag

Eman was a college friend of mine. We were classmates in UST when I was still finishing my pre-med course. He was supportive and very kind to everyone. I wasn’t aware that he joined this medical mission in Africa which is a testament on the kind of person that he was, selfless. He died doing what he loved best, helping other who cannot help themselves. He wasn’t born with a lot of money and was raised and supported only by his grandmother. It breaks my heart just thinking what she’s going through right now. All I can do at this point is offer a prayer that he may find peace and that may God reward him for his kindness and his good heart.

Love Confession: Justin

It was just one of those boring nights when I was glued to the computer browsing the net, killing time. I wasn’t aware that such night would start a story of friendship and of love that was never meant to be. It started in March 2006 and during that time, Facebook doesn’t exist yet and Friendster is the king of social network. So while randomly browsing profile pages of various people, by chance, I came upon his profile page. I froze and was blown away. I’m not sure if it’s possible but it seemed like it was love at first sight, if you can call it that. Everything about him was so beautiful; his face, eyes, lips, built, just everything. I know it’s crazy to feel that much intensity to someone you have never even met. Even, I couldn’t believe it myself. It took me two weeks of daily checking his profile before I was finally able to muster enough courage to send him a message. The funny thing is, I can’t even tell if he’s gay or not. His profile page doesn’t say or imply so. But what the heck! Even with so much hesitation, I did it.

April 8, 2006
Me:
such beautiful eyes....

nice and interesting profile. i love to travel
alot myself. anyway, just dropping you a note to say
hi..well,.. HI. there I’ve said it. =). keep it cool. just give
me a buzz if ur not busy or anything. =)

April 9, 2006
Justin:
ey thanks. actually i havent updated anything on
my profile yet. there are so many things to write about
but i guess im too lazy and not really in the
mood for it.. hehehe

I was hoping but not expecting a reply from him. I was ecstatic. Even if it was just one simple note, it made me smile from ear to ear. After that, we exchanged few more casual messages; nothing special really. But those casual messages have more meaning to me than it should. Every word written for me was special to the point I can memorize every lines in his note. I tried as much as I can to be discreet about how much I like him, scared I might scare him away. Yet still, one day, he just stopped replying to my messages. After two unanswered messages, I gave up. Maybe he’s just wasn’t interested.

After months have passed; I read his post on his profile about losing his mobile phone. Out of sheer curiosity I sent him a message testing whether he would still recognize me and reply back.

August 8, 2006
Me:
too bad you lost your phone. tsk tsk tsk.
anyway, just dropping by to say hi! take care bro.
keep it cool!

Justin:
ey, nice to hear from you again. hows it going? yeah, ur
right, rub it in... =) just kidding. hehehe actually,
kinda difficult since i didn't backup my contacts.
haaay. ey, thanks for keeping in touch.

what's keeping you busy?

August 11, 2006
Me:
everything is kinda crazy for me right now. we'll be having
our certification audit next week and i'm the lead person of
our company. its gonna be a make or break for me. hehehe.

well, i lost my phone before. and it sucks. specially
the contact information of people you know that goes with it.
so i've learned my lesson. from then on i started backing
up everything in my organizer.

hey, its been a while since the last time we've
written to each other. how are things doing in your end?
how's work? well, i hope everything's fine. =)

Justin:
I kinda understand what you're going through.
I used to do be the lead for the IT department
in my previous work. And when the company
went for ISO certification, my work doubled and
most of it involved documenting everything.
haay. Buti nalang gang dun lang ang part ko. hehehe.
I know kaya mo yan, kaw pa. Naks!

well, you're right about the contacts. What really
sucks is when people text you and you ask them
who they are(in a nice of course). Naku may
nagtatampo pa, tapos I ended up telling the same
story over and over and over and over ... =)

it's been a while since our last message. Busy eh. =)
I went to Malaysia last weekend to climb Mt. Kinabalu.
A tough climb but it was all worth it. I'll upload my pics as soon as I can.
lets have coffee sometime. Maybe after your iso certification.

Good luck and take care.

August 15, 2006
Justin:
Justin wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out Justin’s profile and send a reply.

A message from Justin:

Ey, is it your birthday? I was thinking of sending you a flower.. hehehehe. But I guess a smiley is enough. Happy Birthday.

August 16, 2006
Me:
the flower is not a bad idea actually, much better if its from mt kinabalu.. but, yeah, i think smiley would do. thanks. ehehehe. ang kulit noh? hehehe. anyway, my bday was last aug. 5. but, thanks for the greetings. as they say, better late than never. =).

its almost 1 am and i'm still here at work. as a matter of fact, i'm the only person left here at the plant. i'm freaking out. few hours from now is the start of the 3 stressful days of audit certification. argh!!! it makes me feel like i'm taking the board exam again. anyway, finishing touches na lang naman ginagawa ko. i just want to make sure things will run smoothly later.

anyway, need to get back to work. hopefully makauwi na ako in an hour. hehehehe. wish me luck bro!!

ingat!

August 16, 2006
Justin:
whoa!

still working? rest for a while buddy. Remember the saying, "All work and no play, makes Jack a psychotic serial killer." buti nilang di jack pangalan mo. hehehe (corny alam ko.) anyway, I know you can pull it off with flying colors.

anyway, pardon my late greetings. Ala ako ng mga araw na nag birthday ka. nasa Kota kinabalu ako eh. =) anyway, I wish i can bring some of the fauna I saw in Mt. Kinabalu. But I can't. Protective area kasi yun, being a World Heritage site. Hayaan mo next akyat ko hanap ako ng bulaklak para sayo. LOL!

August 18, 2006
Me:
I passed the certification!!! Hahaha! its gonna be a long weekend celebration for me. pero ngayon ko pa lang nararamdaman pagod ko. Hehehe. can't wait to go home and rest. magkulong sa room at matulog maghapon. hahahaha. o ayan tapos na certification ko, prolly we can have coffee na. ;P. anyway, Justin, thanks for the encouragement. i really appreciate it. have a great weekend and hope to hear from u soon! take care!

Justin:
Naks! Sabi ko na nga ba eh, mapapasa mo yan eh. Anyway, it is time to rest your body and soul. =) Pahinga kanaman, I know you've been working for sooo many hours these past few days. Nararapat na ipahinga mo ang pagal mo nang katawan. hehehe

Yes, as I promised we'll meet for coffee. or better yet over a cold beer? Let's celebrate! Teka do you drink? if beer doesn't catch your fancy, we can have a nice cold iced tea. =) anyway, just tell me if you gotten enough rest already. Lets just plan it sometime. okay. Just holler back.

Better get going, have to go the gym.

Take care

August 22, 2006
Me:
times like this, beer is definitely better than coffee! we both have reasons to celebrate. mine is my certification, yours, is your mt kinabalu climb. i wanna hear your stories din about your climb. let me know if you're free this weekend or kung kelan ka free. sang area ka ba malapit? lets meet somewhere convenient for both of us.

anyway, i was able to go out last saturday night. 10am na ako nakauwi the following day. hehehehe. the rest of the weekend, well, i stayed home and rest. hahahaha. i plan to take a long vacation in october. prolly go to bohol or camiguin. i deserve something like that. anyway, need to get back to work. take care Justin!

Justin:
I'll drink to that. There are so many reasons to celebrate. Basta't may malamig na San Miguel Beer, kahit ordinaryong nagiging engrandeng okasyon. hehehe. Mahahabang inuman ito.!!!! hehehe Anyway, I'm from mandaluyong, I work in Manila so between that area I'm good. Okay din ang San Juan, Pasig, QC or Makati. so saan ang midway natin? I'll be in bohol this weekend, so can we have it next weekend? I'm usually free friday night and saturday night. Either day is okay with me. watcha think?

August 28, 2006
Me:
sorry for the late reply. i was out of the office the past 2 days auditing one of our suppliers in quezon. bohol ka naman pala this weekend. naiinggit naman ako. anyway, lets set our drinking session saturday next week (if ok with you). half way natin is QC but i wouldnt mind trying out san juan or pasig. di rin naman kasi ako masyado nakakagimik sa area na yon so that would be a change. san ba ok don? basta sa akin, may beer at masarap na pulutan at kwentuhan ayos na! tulad nga ng sabi mo, mahabahabang inuman ito! hehehehe. kaya magbala ka na nga mga kwento mo. hahaha. anyway, dinner na muna ako. mahabahabang kainan to. gutom na gutom na ako eh. hehehe. take care Justin!!

Justin:
i just came back from bohol. Ang ganda. I really enjoyed bohol, the beach, the food, the snorkelling site. If you're into diving, bohol is the place to be. I bet you'll enjoy it. As for me, i love to come back to bohol. and I make it sure that I'm into diving already. I love to tell you more but i need some rest din. Anyway, I can tell you more next saturday in our inuman session. hahaha. Speaking of which, sa QC na lang. para di naman malayo sayo. Though ala akong alam masyadong inuman sa qc, except sa pier one. anyway, I guess mas gala ka sa akin. So you choose. So see you next saturday. take care buddy.

September 1, 2006
Justin:
Justin wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out Justin's profile and send a reply.

A message from Justin:
ey see you tomorrow buddy!

I arrived early in our meeting place. I was really nervous. I’m not an insecure person, but love often makes me feel that way. “Am I good enough for him? Will he like me? Do I look good? Why don’t you shut the fuck up and stop pestering yourself and just enjoy this moment!” A few minutes later, he was there, standing in front of me, flashing his beautiful smile, green shirt hugging his lean muscular body. I swear I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful. My confidence went from eight to zero. “Hi, I’m Justin” he said. We shook hand and I felt a tinge of electricity flowed in my body. Once seated, we ordered our drinks and started our conversation. We talked about a lot of things. His recent mountain climbing adventure in Kota Kinabalu, books, my passion for diving, our families, cooking, we talked almost about everything. And all that time, I couldn’t help but stare at him. He’s just damn too good looking for me. Confidence level went further down zero to negative. We stayed till 4 am drinking till we decided to part ways. It was wonderful a night. I think I handled myself pretty well. When I got home, I received a text message from him telling me how much he enjoyed the night and that he’s looking forward seeing me again. I almost fainted. I don’t know if it’s because of alcohol or because of what he said. I was in heaven.

After that night, we became more comfortable with each other. From then on, we would regularly text each other. Everything started to happen and feel so natural. But even with all these things happening, I never assumed anything about how he feels for me. I kept telling myself, He’s just being nice. Maybe he really just wants you to be his FRIEND. Yes, I was crazy in love but I tried to keep in touch with reality. Reality somehow held my sanity. We regularly met after our first meet-up. Usually, every two to three weeks. And then after 3 months of regularly going out, one night, we decided to drive to Tagaytay. With bottles of beer loaded in my car, we parked somewhere along the road beside a cliff overlooking Taal Volcano. We stayed in the car just talking and listening to our favorite music, until he took my hand and held it. It caught me by surprise but he continued talking as if nothing happened. I too never bothered to ask why. I realized there are things better left unspoken and just let things happen and enjoy as they happen. Maybe I was scared too not to get the answer I’d want to hear. So we were just there, talking while holding each other’s hand. I wanted so much to kiss him. I badly wanted to. But I held back for I was never really sure of how he feels for me. That night left me so confused.

The following meet-up, he asked me to sleep over at this place. I said yes. When we got to his place, he immediately headed to shower. Afterwhich, he lent me a boxer short and shirt so I could change as well. When I walked out of the bathroom, he was already lying on his bed and asked me to lie down beside him. Then the lights went off. While lying on my back, he suddenly embraced me while murmuring the words, “I feel cold”. Few seconds later his lips were locked against mine. One by one, our clothes started to drop on the floor till we were both naked. It was I who went down first, thinking, if it was just a dream, then I want get on to that part where I can feel I finally own him before I awake and realize none of it was true. I couldn’t believe what was happening. As I feel the warmth of his fullness as it touches my lips and slide down my throat the more I realized how crazy I am of him. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. And as he fills my mouth, moving in and out, I couldn’t help but stare at his face with his eyes half open, staring back at me. Those eyes, those haunting beautiful eyes. After a few minutes of savoring the warmth his manhood, he guided me to slide towards his face till mine is directly in front of him. I was there, on top of him, looking down as he lays on his back and hungrily sucking my soul. I was going mad. Just looking at his beautiful face as his lips play with my fullness is driving me insane. It was such a beautiful sight. Suddenly, I felt the urge to kiss those lips again. We kissed till we can’t control the intensity no more. He searched for my hardness again and I searched for his till we were both in a position giving and accepting pleasure at the same time. It was precious. It went on till we both exploded in each others mouth; sucking each others sweetness down to the very last drop. He held me after that and kissed me. I wanted to say I love you yet again, I held back. But, I was happy. I couldn’t ask for more. Who would have thought I would end up where I was with a man who months ago, was just someone I thought I could have only in my dreams? I slept under the warmth of his embrace. We woke up the following morning, making love all over again.

There have been few changes in the months that followed after that night we made love. We continued to see each other regularly, except this time, making love has become part of our routine. Also, from then one, every morning, without fail, the first text message I would receive is from him. We even started calling each other baby. Yet, again, we never really talked about our situation, much more, our feelings for each other. It bothered me. We were acting like lovers yet I know I have no hold over him. I was really in love with him and I wanted to have that sense of ownership over him. But I was scared to spoil whatever we have at that time. That is why I never had the courage to ask him. I was contented yet I wanted more. Our relationship went on like that. And then I met Alvin.


To be continued.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I used to believe in Santa. Until one day, I saw the receipt of the watch in my mom’s drawer I thought “Santa” gave me.

2. I was an altar boy when I was a kid. I had the opportunity to serve for the late Jaime Cardinal Sin.

3. First country I ever visited outside the Philippines was Malaysia. The last one is USA (last year)

4. Batanes is my most favorite place in the Philippines. It has everything. Gorgeous landscape (jaw-dropping), and the culture well preserved. It’s a must for all who love to travel.

5. I’m a frustrated painter.

6. I’m not very fond of chocolates. As a matter of fact, I hate chocolate ice cream!

7. I’ve had many car accidents. I’ve lost track how many.

8. I was a university athlete when I was in college. Event: Taekwondo. I enjoy other sports as well: Tennis, Bowling, Chess and Badminton.

9. I’m such a sucker for world records (Usually in sports , F1, Tennis, etc). Most number of this and that!

10. There are only about 5 websites I visit every day; Inquirer. Net, chessbase.com, facebook.com, blogspot.com and flickr.com

11. I’m used to be addicted to facebook online games: Metropolis, Mafia war and Texas HoldEm

12. I love to read. Books, magazines, newspaper, everything!

13. I usually get into trouble coz I don’t know how to say NO!

14. Photography is my passion.

15. I can never sleep without a pillow under my head.

16. I had a short stint with the Thomasian Debaters Council until I shifted to the UST Taekwondo Team.

17. Gaining weight for me is as difficult as for those who are trying to lose weight.

18. I can spend the entire day inside a bookstore or in a library!

19. I listen to all kinds of music. R&B, Hip-Hop, Blues, Jazz, House, Trance, Classical, Country, Rock, etc.

20. I like long drives especially when I’m down. Pagudpod anyone? =)

21. I love my work!

22. I'm so good at procrastinating. I do get in alot of trouble because of that.

23. I hate receiving forwarded messages, thru e-mail and most especially thru text! It’s so annoying!

24. I love to eat but I don’t usually experiment or try out new things. I would always order the same thing.

25. I love watching reality TV. =)

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My Top 7 Dream Destination

One of the things I am passionate about is to travel. I love going to different places, exploring, learning. So let me share to you places I dream of visiting one day.

Santorini, Greece
When I first saw this place featured in a movie (which I have completely forgotten), I immediately fell in love with it. The structures built and painted mainly in white and blue in this historic volcanic island overlooking the Aegea Sea is indeed a sight to behold . Its architecture fascinates me. Have you heard the myth about Atlantis? Well, various archeological findings suggest that Santorini is the lost civilization of Atlantis. Cool huh?

Kruger National Park, South Africa
I love adventure. The closest thing to the African safari I’ve ever experienced is when I visited the Calauit Safari Park in Busuanga, Palawan. Well, I enjoyed it a lot. It gave me a different feeling being one with all the animals freely roaming in it. The downside is there are only limited species of animals in the Calauit Park. One can only see zebras, giraffes, and deers. Let’s just say, I craved for more and that’s the reason why African Safari is definitely part of my dream destination list.

Paris, France
When I was growing up, I would read volumes of encyclopedia at home. One of the things that fascinates me the most are pictures of artworks created by the masters, Leonardo da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Picasso, Van Gogh, etc. I am in love with Art. As a matter of fact, I have a replica of Piscasso’s The Lecturer hanging in my living room. And where else can one find repository of all the greatest works of the greatest artist who ever lived than in the Louvre Museum in Paris, France.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Have you ever felt the Latin heat? I have always been in awe of Latin dance and music. The passion and energy which define their music is what draw me to it. I would like to understand the inspiration behind all these. And Brazil, as I understand, is the seat of Latin culture.

Kyoto, Japan
I was deeply saddened with the recent tragedy that struck this country. For one, many of its citizens were affected by this catastrophe and the other; I was actually bound to visit Kyoto this year. It seems like with the recent development, the trip would have to be postponed indefinitely. The Japanese way of life has always fascinated me. Their culture is truly unique from the rest of the world. And that is the reason why I want to visit Japan, to understand and learn more about their culture. If you've read or watched the movie Memoirs of a Geisha, Kyoto, up to this day is said to be the capital of Geisha. As I was told by a friend who recently visited Kyoto, Kyoto continues to preserve its way of life amidst the challenges of modernization which is sweeping Japan. The only time I get to set foot in Japan (only at the airport actually!) is when I go to the States and have to stop over either in Nagoya or Narita. I hope they would recover soon. And hopefully not in a so distant future, I’ll be able to finally visit this country.

Great Barrier Reef, Australia
I am into diving. So that pretty sums up the reasons why I want to go to the Great Barrier Reef. Great Barrier Reef is said to be the world’s largest reef and home to thousands of aquatic species. The area is also recognized as World Heritage Site by the UNESCO.

Jerusalem, Israel
The place where one can fulfill a truly meaningful spiritual journey. This is where it all began; the birthplace of my Faith.

Keeping a Reef Tank

Last March 20, Toni and I went to Metrowalk to buy some DVDs. On our way to the DVD stalls we decided to pass by an aquarium shop to check out their display. And there, we saw this beautiful nano reef (15 gallons) tank complete with accessories (lighting, pumps and filters), corals and reef fishes. It was really beautiful. I’m into diving. I’m actually a certified diver. So you could just imagine how much excitement I felt when I saw that beautiful tank. Out of curiosity I asked the storekeeper if it’s really difficult to maintain a reef tank. He said, no, and water change needs only be done once a month (at least 20% of tank volume), and general cleaning, once a year. And then I asked about feeding the corals and fishes. He showed me a bottle and told me that I only need to give them a capful of that liquid once a day and that’s it. I couldn’t believe it was that simple. I’ve heard so much about keeping a reef tank how difficult and expensive to maintain one. But based on my conversation with the storekeeper, it appears it’s even simpler compared to freshwater tanks. So right there and then, I decided to buy it. Complete set at PhP 25,000.

My 15 gallon reef tank

Three days after, the corals died. I asked myself what have I done wrong? So I took the bottle given to me by the storekeeper and read everything written on its label. It was a bottle of iodine. I learned from the label that iodine does not actually serve as a food for the corals but only acts as a supplement. And there was a notice warning. Dosing should be done properly and precautionary measures should be taken so as to avoid overdosing the tank. There was a dosing instruction and based on my computation, I should be dosing only 0.3ml of that solution once a week as compared to the capful, approximately 5ml daily dosing of that solution to the tank! F*ck! I poisoned my corals! I wanted to kill that storekeeper but can I really blame him? I should have read the instruction on the bottle in the first place. So, ok fine let’s just charge it to experience.

That following Sunday, we went to Cartimar to replenish our stocks. We bought new set of corals, live rocks, tube worms, clams, and few more fishes. Again, after three days of setting up the tank, while being away from home, Toni called, panicking! The fishes are dying she said! Here we go again! Argh! Hurriedly I left work and went straight home. That night, we had to remove everything from the tank because there’s something poisoning the fishes and maybe the corals too. The clams are dead by that time. We also have to rush to a nearby marine shop to buy saltwater to replace the old stock laden with whatever is poisoning our livestock. That night, out of the 9 fishes in our tank, only 2 survived. All the clams died too. Fortunately, the corals survived the onslaught. This is getting really difficult and expensive, again, let’s charge this to experience.

The following morning, I searched the net for all the information I could find about reef keeping. I was eager to know what happened that night which almost wiped out my reef tank. Here’s what I learned:

1. Water parameter checking is highly important. Reef tank should mimic natural seawater where these creatures are naturally its inhabitants. One cannot stress the importance of checking and maintaining acceptable levels of calcium, pH, alkalinity, nitrates and phosphates. I bought a test kit and I now perform a periodic testing of my tank.

a. Calcium (400 - 420ppm) – if your level is below the normal range, there are supplements available in the market you can buy. Just add it to raise your level. If your value is too high, a water change can help but doing nothing won’t really hurt your livestock. Corals will naturally deplete the calcium in your tank as they need it for their growth.

b. Nitrates (0 ppm) – Having a value of 0 ppm in your tank could quite be challenging. Especially if you are also keeping fishes in your tank. Nitrates are introduced in your tank via the food and wastes generated by fishes. An excess in nitrates could promote excessive algae growth which makes your tank looks unpleasant. It helps to keep a protein skimmer in your tank to help remove various organic waste matter in your tank. Unfortunately, the tank I bought is not equipped with a skimmer. So I purchased one and installed it in my tank.

c. Phospates (0 ppm) – Up to this moment I haven’t still achieved that 0 level. I started with a value of 5 pmm and the last time I checked it has already gone down to 0.25 ppm, which is not bad. Hopefully within the next few days I’ll be able to eliminate it from my tank completely. I had to use an additive to precipitate the phosphorus in my tank. Though I think certain phosphate filters are a lot better but I don’t have much space in my tank to accommodate such filters.

I enjoy water testing. It brings me back to my laboratory subjects during college. I am a licensed chemist so water testing is just a walk in the park for me.

2. Corals and clams are more sensitive to sudden change in water parameters. That night, the clams died first. And when they die, they release toxins which could have poisoned the fishes as well.

3. During daytime, excessive evaporation occurs (water loss). At first I used salt water to make up for the loss. But after a while, I realized that if I keep adding saltwater to my tank to make up for the water loss, I will be increasing the salinity of my water. Salt does not evaporate. It stays in your tank. So to balance this, therefore I concluded that I should be adding a natural clean freshwater. But before doing so, I checked again the net, and wow, I was right! Only there is a precaution to use only distilled water so as not to introduce soil minerals that could affect the tank water parameter. Last week I bought a refractometer which allows me to test the salinity (level of salt) in my tank. Recommended level is at 1.020 to 1.025. By knowing your salinity level, you would know which to add should water loss occurs, saltwater or distilled freshwater so as to maintain acceptable salinity level in your tank.

4. Temperature and lighting is critical. I had to buy small custom fans for the tank. I wanted to get a chiller but damn, it’s as expensive as a new air conditioner. Well, so far the fans are doing its job in keep the tank cool. =)

5. The amount of stocks you keep in your tank is also crucial. You cannot overstock it like how we stock our cabinets with too much stuffs. There is a certain rule how much liverocks, corals and fishes you can keep depending on your tank size (volume).

It was too late for me to realize how tedious and complicated to keep a reef tank. Had I known all these things before I bought that tank, I would have probably passed on it. It would scare the sh*t out of me particularly knowing how big responsibility it is to keep the tank alive. I was forced in this situation, keeping and maintaining a reef tank. But after more than a month has passed, surprisingly I’m enjoying every tasks I have to do for it; testing the water, feeding the corals and fishes, adjusting the equipment settings, everything. I can say, I have no regrets at all. Coral and fishes as well as those little critters in the tank are so delicate and sensitive. Keeping them alive is what gives me pleasure. It is so challenging and I do love challenges. Not to mention the tons of things I’ve been learning about marine life. Having a bottle of beer while staring at those beautiful creatures is such a delightful experience for me. Hopefully before the year ends, I’d be able to upgrade from 15 gallons to 80 gallon tank. And I am already preparing for it, financially and in terms of knowledge and experience. And that would be another challenging experience I am looking forward to embark.

Here's how I want my 80 gallon tank to look like.