Important Decision

Sometime in January 2019 a friend of mine organized a reach out program for an orphanage in Manila. It was also that month that her son was celebrating his first birthday. I immediately accepted her invitation to join her since at that time I was already thinking of adopting a child. It would give me an opportunity to know and meet and also gauge and have a feel being around orphans who could potentially be my own kid.

I woke up really early on the day of our visit to the orphanage. I made sure all the goodies I prepared the day before are all loaded in my car. I was really so excited. I was imagining already playing with the kids, getting to know them. However, when we got there, something unexpected happened. From the outside there was a glass door where you could see the kids. It was their playroom where they spend most of their time. We got excited seeing them so we approached the door to see and greet them. When the kids saw us, all them ran to the glass door. Each tried to get our attention. Some tapped the glass door, some waved their hands and some reached out their arms towards us. It was crazy. This particular scene reminded me of when I visit a pet store where some puppies would try to get your attention like begging for you to take them. That’s exactly what I thought of during that time. Was it really a desperate plea hoping someone would take them?  Why were they in such situation? Nasaan ang mga magulang ng mga ito? Bakit sila pinabayaan at iniwan sa lugar na ito?  It broke my heart at napaluha ako while I was looking at the kids. I wasn’t really prepared for it. 

So we spent our time playing with the kids. Pinagkaguluhan nila kami. Pinag aagawan nila kami. Almost everyone would try to get your attention hoping you’d carry them in your arms or at least play with them. It was fun yet a heartbreaking experience. I felt sorry for them. But come to think of it, I am also like those kids. Maybe not as desperate but was somehow also searching and longing for a family to call my own. 

When I got home I immediately grabbed my laptop and started to search on the internet adoption process in the Philippines. After about an hour or two of browsing and reading, I picked my phone and called my friend and told her, “I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna have a child of my own. I’m gonna adopt!” With that, I made the most important decision of my life! 

I am now a Dad!

I am now a Dad. Who would have thought a single gay guy like me can be a father one day? Yes, I dreamed of this long time ago but I never thought it would be possible. Matthew, my adoptive son, as I would call him in this blog, came into my life when I truly needed him. It was fours years ago when I seriously considered adopting. During that time, I just got promoted into a regional role which made me work most of the time from home. I was living alone in a condominium in Pasig. Interactions with people became less and less frequent. Day in, day out it was the same for me. I started feeling depressed. I got hooked with G app. I thought it could help me cope with the loneliness I was feeling. Almost everyday I was hooking up with different guys for fun. But that made things even worse. It made me feel not only depressed but also miserable. I never felt more alone in my life during those days. I started questioning the whole sense and purpose of my existence. If I die at that moment, so what? Why am I still living? How should I deal with the loneliness I was feeling? Do I need to be in a relationship? Be in another gay relationship which most likely will not last and leave you alone again and back where you started? I knew I needed something in my life. I knew I needed to find a purpose why I need to go on living. And I knew, I needed to be in a relationship. A relationship that can last. And that's when it occurred to me, of having my own child. 

Hello World!! Guess who's back?!

Last night I remembered that I used to have this blog. Out of curiosity, I checked if this still exists. And to my surprise, it still does considering I haven't logged in for a number of years already in fact my last post was some 10 years ago. Wow 10 years! So many things have happened to me since then and I do hope I can share some of them to all you.  Anyway, I am currently in Surat, India doing an audit. I will start writing once I'm back in Manila. So many stories to tell! Bye for now!

More Than You'll Ever KnoW

As I sit here infront of you, just staring at you, it made me realized, after all these years, nothing have changed. I l love you then, and I still love you now.

US Trip 2011

It's been six months since the last time I posted here. So many things happened the past few month.I will try to remember those which are significant and write them here. For the meantime, I want to start by posting some of the pictures I took during my US visit last November. It was a memorable trip. I was able to visit three states in a span of three weeks. Three on three! My first stop was Hawaii, followed by California and finally New York. I hope you all enjoy these pics!

Crossroad

Yesterday I received an e-mail from my headhunter. Few months ago, I was interviewed for a position in Aboitiz. I wasn't really expecting for a call back after that. During that interview I was asked what if they're offer is less than my asking price which should not be lower than PhP150,000, would I accept the job? I simply replied, anything less than than is unacceptable. So to get this notification that my application is on its final assessment is quite remarkable. Though, I'm still not expecting anything. Even if they give in to my demand, I'm still not 100% sold to the idea of accepting it for a lot of reasons. But the good thing about this, aside for my ego of course is first, I was able to assess my market value. It's important for every induvidual to know how much his worth so in times like these, one would avoid selling one's self short(I'm starting to sound like a prostitute here. =). Everyone of us is a saleman. In our day to day lives we continue to sell ourselves to everyone, to each and every individual we meet each day. When you court a girl, or make friends, you always put your best foot forward, much more when you offer your services to a company. And lastly, i was able to assess my capabilities and understand my strenghts and weaknessess. That's the great thing about going to job interviews (even if you're happy and satisfied with your current job). My style is, I would apply for a position higher than my current job. I'd go though the rigorous process of screening so I'd be able to assess what I have and don't have based on what they are looking for. After that, I go back to the drawing board and develop my developmental plan. I attend trainings and volunteer on job tasks. It allows me to learn and build on my competence and address identified weaknessess.

Now what are my main reasons for not accepting the job?

1. I'm not sure I'm ready to relocate. The facility is located in Bicol. Man, that's too far from where I live right now. But during the interview, they told me I could work for 3 weeks straight and have a 1 week off which of course I could spend back home in Manila.

2. I'm still quite happy and satisfied with my current job. Work pressure is not too much and I'm eyeing a promotion next year.

3. I was just given a share in a corporation by my bestfriend's family which they recently organized. They say, it's for "utang na loob" for the good things I've done for their family. How I helped and supported them during those time when they couldn't even pay their monthly rent. Just few months ago, out of nowhere, they received a call informing them that they inherited a 24 hectare land in Pampanga. It was said to belong to their grandmother. However, their grandmonther never told anyone about it when she died, luckily the court was able to find them as it wanted already to distribute such property to its legal heir. That case has been pending in court for half a century now. When we visitied the area, lo and behold, the said land is covered with aggregates (sand and gravel) due to the Pinatubo eruption when lahar covered parts of Pampanga. If some of you may not be aware, the Province of Pampanga makes hundreds of millions each year quarrying these areas. The property they inherited is untouched and never been quarried. I was appointed as Board of Director and Operations Manager and would get monthly allowances plus profit from my share of the corporation. Hopefully, in three weeks time, our quarry permit will be released so we can start operation immediately. I'll discuss this more in detail next time.

Anyway, it's Sunday here in Kusatsu. I had a great time yesterday visiting Kyoto and would probably go back later this afternoon. Need to take a bath now as I need to meet up some friends in awhile for Lunch.

PS. I wonder why I can't post comment? Anyway. lonewolf, I'll try that chocolate beer. You seems to know alot of Japan, have you been here before? Ill see if I'd be able to find time to visit Kanzawa. Thanks for the tip!

Japan, Japan

It's past 11pm now here in Kusatsu. I took a flight yesterday in Manila via Cathay Pacific at 6am and arrived in HongKong at around 8am. At 10am, I took a connecting flight and arrived in Osaka/Kansai at 2:30pm. I needed to take a train to come here in Kusatsu but when i got to the train station, the next scheduled trip was 4:15pm. The train ride took about an hour and a half so when i got here in the hotel it's past 6pm. So all in all, it was a 12 hour trip. I was supposed to take a direct flight via PAL but changed my booking due to the on-going problems they are facing right now. It was a long and tiring trip just getting here. However, my amazement on this beautiful country totally made up for it.

On my first day here in Japan, I visited our facility located in Moriyama. I'm quite tired now to describe everything I saw so I'll just post some pictures which I took using my phone. But over-all I was impressed how fully automated the facility is. It made me feel that our facility in the Philippines is neglected and is way behind in terms of technology considering we are of the same company. Anyway, I learned so much today and I plan to bring some of those learnings and try to implement it in our own facility.

Tomorrow is free day. I plan to spend the entire day in Kyoto, which happens to be one of my dream destination. I brought my camera with me together with my tripod and several lenses so I am hoping to capture some really good pictures.

Oh by the way, I think Japanese guys are the cutest in the world, seriously. Come here and you'll know why. Coincidentally, my first gay experience was with a half Japanese-half Pinoy way back in high school. I'm thinking of sending him a message via FB when I get back in Manila. Just Kidding! (or maybe not!) =)

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